QT: Don't fall in love with the Male Lead

Chapter 189: Don't hear it from the beginning

Xi Zirui stays silent for a long time.

He doesn't want to say too much just yet. He thinks it's better to let his grandma talk first, and come to his conclusions afterwards.

"What is grandmother trying to say?" he asks, addressing her with the same formality as he would the Empress Dowager.

Something glints in her wizened eyes. Holding him steadily by the forearm she directs him towards two chairs by the circular moon window, overlooking a tiny courtyard.

Xi Zirui sits down with the feeling that they didn't end up here by coincidence.

It's possible that his grandmother had been following him and only revealed her presence when it was convenient for her.

She folds her hands over her lap and gives Xi Zirui an appraising look.

"There are some things you don't know."

Xi Zirui nods, the fine hairs on the back of his neck prickling.

She looks out the window at the courtyard, at the shrubbery swaying gently in the breeze. "I've been alive for a long time. Back when humanity was taking its first steps, and the world was a wild and untamed place."

Her eyes drift towards him. "Do you know why there aren't Dragons, Phoenixes, or any other of the great creatures who once shared with us domain over the heavenly realm?" his grandmother asks, apropos of nothing.

Xi Zirui sits up straighter. "The changing attitudes of humanity made it unsafe for them to walk freely in the human realm, and their natures made it so living permanently in the heavenly realm wasn't enough for them. As such they have gone into hiding." He replies, feeling as if he's back in school, trying to impress a teacher -- something he only attempted once or twice before realizing that cutting class was actually more enjoyable.

His grandmother nods. "That's part of it. For a time, hiding was enough, but with humanity's constant growth and expansion, that wouldn't be the case for long. A permanent solution needed to be found. Therefore a parallel realm was created, a slice of this world as it used to be long ago, where spirit creatures could live in peace, alongside humans who didn't harbor any ill intentions towards them, and with plenty of undisturbed nature to enjoy."

Xi Zirui nods again. That makes sense, he doesn't understand why they wouldn't be told the full story in school, although he can also see why that is no longer relevant. 

"I'm telling you this so you understand that for some, that solution came too late." 

Her tone is grave, and the motherly smile is gone from her lips.

Xi Zirui is now more confused than ever. He doesn't understand how any of this relates to him.

"Some, like my brother. Huan Xuan."

Her words slam into Xi Zirui like an avalanche. Suffocating and chilling all at once. He remembers with vivid clarity the white dragon rising from the placid waters of the river near Heavenly Dragon sect.

Heavenly Dragon...He spares a look at his grandmother. Seeing her in a whole new light.

What exactly was behind the worlds he went to with the Transmigrator 4000?

Or rather...who?

The Empress keeps her counsel in the face of Xi Zirui's disquiet. Her eyes merely drifting towards the book shoved haphazardly into Xi Zirui's sash.

"The good thing about books is that anyone can write them, isn't it?" 

Xi Zirui sits up straighter, his hands balling into fists at his side. "Grandmother, please talk plainly."

"I already am, child. You're just not listening carefully." She shakes her head, almost fondly. 

She gets up from her chair and spreads out her arms. In the blink of an eye two jade-like horns sprout from her hairline, their roots hidden by her white hair. A smattering of iridescent scales shimmers at her temples and the back of her hands.

"Do you see now?" she asks, her voice gravely, and deep, as if it's coming from under water.

Xi Zirui can only stare in shock up at her. Eyes fixed on her dragon horns.

He remembers at the time that he expected Huan Xuan to resemble Han Yu in the same way Xi Ming resembled him, and was confused as to why he didn't.

Looking at his grandmother now, Xi Zirui can see the resemblance.

She sits back down on her chair and her dragon features disappear, returning her to the appearance Xi Zirui is used to seeing.

"Huan Xuan was my brother," she says.

Xi Zirui looks up at her in confusion, trying to wrap his mind around it, but especially around his role in all of this.

She nods towards the book. "You've read it."

He nods.

"Then you must be confused as to why the book of Han Yu's life details exactly the events you have gone through in your...," she pauses, trying to find the right word. "Travels."

It's a shock to have the confirmation of what he suspected. To know for sure that his grandmother knows what happened in the alternate worlds.

Might even have been behind it all along.

"Why?" he asks, after struggling with himself for a long time in search of something to say.

"The events you saw, regarding Xi Ming, Huan Xuan, and the Heavenly Dragon sect, more or less took place." Her lips curl in a private smile. "Save for some creative liberties. I'm sure you won't begrudge an old woman her eccentricities."

Xi Zirui takes her words to mean, that the sect Xi Ming came from wasn't necessarily called 'Heavenly Dragon', and that obviously there was no Su Xueyi involved in the events that took place.

"Don't make such a complicated face." She scolds him with a tut. "It's not as hard as all that. I'm not yet able to see the future. That is for the the Master of Fates and their underlings. I merely got the story started." She reaches across, and plucks the book from Xi Zirui's fingers. "You filled in the blanks when you threw yourself headfirst not only into it, but dragged everyone else with you, too."

"An echo," Xi Zirui says, eyeing the book in her hands with wide-eyes. 

"That's right. I started the story, but I didn't know how it was going to end. That was up to you." She spares a another look at the book. "I suppose it's still a work-in-progress. This is merely an interlude."

She smiles kindly at him and reaches across the distance to pat him on the knee. "I knew I was successful when you woke up today with a lot of questions for everyone and a change of behaviour. I only had to check the book to learn what took place."

"Me going on the tribulation the first time around, or... this time, I guess, was your idea?"

She nods.

"But why? What does all of this have to do with Xi Ming and Huan Xuan, and me and Han Yu?"

"Maybe it's better if I start at the beginning." She leans back on her chair, making herself comfortable. "Me and Huan Xuan were the heirs to our clan. It was decided that one of us would carry out the clan duties, and the other would marry into the heavenly imperial family."

This too, is something Xi Zirui had no idea about. His grandparents never discussed the particulars of their marriage with him.

"The Book of Fates mentioned only that one of the children from our clan was to marry into the heavenly realm, it didn't specify who." She gazes out the window again, apparently lost in thought. "I knew my brother wouldn't do well in that kind of situation so I volunteered."

An incredible sadness descends over her, making her look older and smaller. "I often wonder if he would still be alive if I hadn't."

"Because he met Xi Ming," Xi Zirui says finishing her train of thought.

All of a sudden, he doesn't think he likes the direction in which this is going.

"Immortals and humans aren't fated to be. This is common sense. Huan Xuan wouldn't hear anything of it. Xi Ming was an immortal cultivator, so naturally he believed he could cultivate to immortality." She scoffs. "Never mind that precious few cultivators achieve that, and that it is against the will of fate and the balance of the heavens."

Her gaze grows hard. "Those two wouldn't be deterred, and it killed them both."

"Xi Ming, he..." Xi Zirui starts, his throat clicking. "He looked like me."

She nods. "That's not a coincidence." She takes a deep breath. "As much as I disapproved, Huan Xuan was my brother, I wanted him back. As you know gods don't reincarnate, and it's the same for all other immortals."

"But not for humans," Xi Zirui says, the words sticking to the back of his throat. "Then...but I'm a god..."

His grandmother shakes her head. "A new life sometimes starts with an old soul." Her eyes grow sad. "Fate, in all its ever turning complexities, saw fit to reward Xi Ming by making his last reincarnation the final one. By reincarnating as a god, he has reached enlightenment."

Xi Zirui's heart beats frantically inside his chest. "Then, is grandmother trying to right past wrongs?"

He looks into her wizened face, smiling hopefully, but she doesn't return his smile.

"What fate has written must always come to pass, what is not written cannot be asked." Her dark eyes pass over Xi Zirui, pinning him in place with their intensity. "I'm making sure the mistakes of the past aren't repeated."