Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu‎

Volume 6.5, Fumizuki Academy News -- [Columns]

Himeji Mizuki's 3-Minute Cooking Lesson!

Today's dish: A Beef and Potato Stew That Will Melt Even "That Special Someone's" Mouth!

Ingredients (Serves 4):

4 Potatoes

200g Beef

1 Onion

4 tbsp. Soy Sauce

3 tbsp. Sugar

1 tsp. Salt

45cc Sulfuric Acid (Usually used as a preservative, so you can keep the food tasty!)

Small amounts of Potassium Nitrate

(If a vinegar-like taste is desired, add a small amount of chloroacetic acid. Its gamma variant melts at 53 C, and solidifies when cooled. Those who dislike that sour taste can take out the crystals after refrigeration. You may get better feelings from your significant other if you try harder to suit his tastes!)

Cooking Directions

Peel onion and potatoes, cutting them into appropriately-sized pieces.

Pour some oil into a pot and saute the onions.

When the onions become translucent, add the cut beef and potatoes and saute.

After stirring to a good amount, add water, sugar, soy sauce, and salt. Let the mixture simmer.

When the sauce's color changes a bit, add 45cc of sulfuric acid.

Side bubble: When exposed to sulfuric acid and heat, the starch (C6H10O5)n in the potatoes will hydrolyze into monosaccharides, which adds a lot to the sweetness!

After a bit of simmering, shut off the heat, and add the chloroacetic acid and potassium nitrate. Mix well, and turn on the heat again to simmer.

Side bubble: At this time, the metal part of the pot will begin to melt. If a hole opens at the bottom of the pot all the sauce will be lost, so it is important to finish preparation as quickly as possible!

Turn off the heat, contact a professional to process the remaining liquid in the pot, and it's done. Remember not to dirty the kitchen, as this is a rule that any chef must obey. With this meat and potato stew, that special person's tongue will definitely, definitely become addicted! (and sticky) You can't go wrong!

Note: "Sticky" and "Addicted" are synonyms in Japanese.

The chemical reactions shown in this recipe:

NaCl (salt) + CH2ClCOOH (chloroacetic acid) --> CH2ClCOONa (sodium chloroacetate) + **HCl (hydrochloric acid)**

KNO3 (potassium nitrate) + H2SO4 (sulfuric acid) -> **HNO3 (nitric acid)** + KHSO4 (potassium hydrogen sulfate)

Hydrochloric Acid + Nitric Acid -> Aqua Regia (King's Water)

Aqua Regia -- A more potent acid than hydrochloric acid and nitric acid, and is especially dangerous to humans. Besides "that special person's tongue", even his spine will melt.

DISCLAIMER: Mizuki Himeji-san and the taste-testers around her have received special training. This is a dangerous method, and ordinary people should pay extreme attention to not attempt this.