Chapter 35: Chapter 32 After the Traffic Jam
After a noisy morning, by the time Lin Xiaolu had combed her hair and shuffled to the dining table in her slippers to finish breakfast, it was already 7:25 a.m.
During that time, probably feeling that Lin Yun, as an ordinary person, couldn't see the Fairy, she and Moke still stared each other down now and then, extending their cold war from the bathroom to the breakfast table.
Lin Yun fully exhibited his acting skills by feigning ignorance and turning a blind eye. He silently cleaned up his dishes, gave them a quick wash, and put them into the sterilizing cabinet before picking up his things and looking at Lin Xiaolu.
He didn't speak, but his intention was clear: "Would you like me to drive you?"
Lin Xiaolu remained silent.
If Lin Yun chose to drive her to school at this time, it meant he was prepared to be late himself. She only didn't want to accept his kindness, not that she didn't understand it.
Every act of kindness she accepted from her father was one less reason she had to resent him. She didn't want their relationship to improve so easily; otherwise, she would find it impossible to hate him. And if not for her, who would remember her mother's grievances?
So she lowered her head, avoiding Lin Yun's gaze.
This was probably a silent rejection.
"If you really want to go by yourself, don't blame me if you're late."
Lin Yun was used to this behavior, and his emotions barely fluctuated. After all, Lin Xiaolu's sulking wasn't new–it would be surprising if she had cheerfully agreed. If she didn't want to go with him, he wouldn't force her.
Having gathered his things and changed into his shoes, he stepped out into the apartment hallway, heading for the elevator.
"Squeak!"
But he hadn't walked ten meters when the door to their home opened again.
He turned his head, only to see Lin Xiaolu peeking half her body through the door crack, still tilting her head and looking down, her lips moving as if whispering something.
"Your voice is too low, I can't hear you," he said.
Lin Xiaolu halted her movements.
Her gaze wandered, first to the floor, then to the wall, then sweeping past Moke, who was smirking, and finally stealing a glance at her dad.
In the end, she took a deep breath, turned toward Lin Yun, closed her eyes, and shouted, "I said wait for me to go back and get my schoolbag!"
...
...
In Luoming District, under the overpass on Xidian Road,
Lin Yun stared at the stationary traffic ahead, his fingers tapping on the steering wheel.
Fortunately, he had already anticipated the traffic jam, so he remained calm. After all, he was the one who was sure to be late, as long as his daughter could arrive at school on time before eight.
Sitting in the backseat, Lin Xiaolu looked out the window in silence, her thoughts a mystery. Beside her, inside her schoolbag, Moke peeked out curiously at the two people in the car.
After glancing at his daughter's state through the rearview mirror, Lin Yun figured some conversations had to happen, so he decided to broach a topic, "Lulu, do you have your final exams next week?"
Bringing up exams at a time like this is, of course, touching a sore spot for any child.
"Hmm." Therefore, Lin Xiaolu's response was nonchalant, clearly not interested in elaborating on the subject.
"How's your preparation going?" Lin Yun tried to keep his tone gentle to avoid pressuring his daughter.
"So-so."
"I remember at the end of last semester, you said you were in the middle of your class, right?"
"About that."
"Do you have any target rankings this time? If you achieve it, Dad can buy you a little gift."
"...No need."
Lin Xiaolu paused, her voice somber, "You already bought me something for my birthday."
She was referring to the month of May, more precisely, her birthday on the fifth of May. Back then, Lin Xiaolu, who had not yet encountered Moke and had not become a Magical Girl, was just an ordinary middle-schooler troubled by the woes of adolescence and life.
On her birthday, she adamantly refused Lin Yun's suggestion to spend the day together, claiming she had other plans to hang out with friends and told him to mind his own business.
Unable to persuade his daughter, Lin Yun went to attend a work function but left early, preoccupied and unable to focus, returning home ahead of time with the birthday present he had bought for Lin Xiaolu—a new smartphone.
It was only upon returning home that he discovered Lin Xiaolu didn't have "other plans" that evening. She hadn't gone out to have fun with friends, but instead had stayed home alone, singing herself a birthday song and eventually blowing out the birthday candles by herself.
Lin Yun, who had accidentally stumbled upon this scene, felt both heartache and anger. He questioned his daughter why she had to hurt herself in such a manner, and Lin Xiaolu, furious and embarrassed, refused to answer, leading to another cooling period in their relationship where they hardly spoke for a long time.
It was many days later when Lin Yun saw his daughter transformed into a Magical Girl on a TV report that their stagnant relationship started to move forward slowly once again.
"I'm sorry, Lulu."
Looking at the moving traffic ahead, Lin Yun suddenly said, "On your birthday before, I should have insisted on staying with you."
"Bringing this up now?"
Lin Xiaolu widened her eyes in surprise, but after glancing at Moke in the school bag beside her, she put on an indifferent air: "Doesn't matter, it's been so long since then."
"It's not about how much time has passed."
Lin Yun shifted into reverse and lightly stepped on the accelerator, the vehicle slowly starting: "Because I will remember, I will feel uneasy."
"... Remember?"
Lin Xiaolu muttered the word to herself.
At first, her face was expressionless, then it shifted to a smile that wasn't quite a smile, and finally, her brows furrowed, and she sat up straight like an angered little animal, choking out, "You can still say that word? Remember? Have you forgotten what you said when mom died?"
She would never forget the words this man had said to her before her mother's funeral, for he said to "forget her." And yet, here he was talking about "remembering" and feeling "uneasy"—how was she supposed to believe him?
"I am very sorry about your mother."
Facing Lin Xiaolu's anger, Lin Yun's tone remained calm, his hands gripping the steering wheel as he looked at the road ahead: "At that time, I truly didn't know how to tell you, so I could only use such a vague way."
"Because I remember her, I feel heartbroken and pained, so I hoped you, as a child, would forget her, that with time, your pain would fade and you could grow up happy."
"But I didn't anticipate that you understood more than I gave you credit for, and my concealment didn't allow you to let go of these things and be happy; instead, you were often melancholic."
"If my words at that time made you cold-hearted, or if you've always had doubts about her death, I think... we can find a time to talk it over."
The last sentence made Lin Xiaolu in the back seat pause her breathing.
It took her several seconds to understand what Lin Yun was saying, and she even forgot to be angry, her heart filled with questions: "Talk, what is there to talk about?"
"Of course, it's about your mother, and about me."
Lin Yun sighed deeply: "You've grown up now, and it's time to be honest about the things I never told you before. I just need a bit more preparation, a bit more time, can you wait for me a bit longer? I promise it won't be too long, and when the day comes, I'll tell you everything."
At this, he paused, then took a deep breath before finally voicing the sentiment he'd long harbored: "So, can you give me a chance to make amends, Lulu? About your mother's matter, the past of running away from home, and your birthday—can you give me a chance to make it right?"
The car fell into a prolonged silence.
Lin Yun waited for Lin Xiaolu's response, while Lin Xiaolu was digesting his words. She thought, hesitated, and finally made a decision.
"... Parents' meeting." Lin Xiaolu's muffled voice rose from the back seat.
"What?"
"After the final exams next week, the school will have a parents' meeting."
Lin Xiaolu, chin rested on her hand, continued to stare out the window at the passing scenery: "If you're willing, then come."
"Parents' meeting?"
Lin Yun, whose expression had always been somewhat flat, was momentarily unable to remain calm at this response: "You mean..."
"Let's get this straight, it was you who wanted to come."
Interrupting him, Lin Xiaolu suddenly turned her head, her gaze meeting Lin Yun's in the rearview mirror, and she said somewhat fiercely: "So if you come up with excuses to bail again, I won't talk to you at all for the next year!"
"... Heh."
Lin Yun suddenly laughed.
His laughter was joyful, relieved, as if it had been a long time since he'd been this happy.
This unexpected laugh made Lin Xiaolu feel embarrassed: "What are you laughing at?"
"Nothing, I'm just genuinely happy," Lin Yun said with a smile.
"Finding joy in such things? How annoying!" Lin Xiaolu's eyelids drooped.
"I promise you."
"What?"
"A year... no, forget about a year, if I renege this time, you can ignore me for a lifetime."
"Boring stakes, I'm not interested."
"Then let's not worry about that, in any case, I'll definitely come."
Lin Yun's earnest promise seemed to stir something in Lin Xiaolu, but she pressed down her emotions and maintained a stern expression: "... Hmph, let's hope."
In the dawn light, the car finally broke free from the traffic on the elevated road, gathering speed as it raced into the distance.