Chapter 58
All the way to the banquet hall, Sezh thought about one thing: what if Bern and Lilian were there too? Lady Yulia? Her mother? It was an event where noble families gathered together, so no law prohibited them from coming.
Will they try to stop her from attending the ball? Lady Lize said it would be better to keep it secret until the day came. When Sezh accidentally passed by, she also heard Lady Lize ordering Mrs. Pauline not to tell anyone she was teaching Sezh and Raytan how to dance.
Sezh was afraid she would be a disgrace and laughingstock in front of everyone. For that reason, she kept holding onto Raytan’s hand tightly. Raytan, on the other hand, looked okay with everything, of course. He was more silent than usual and didn’t even glance at Sezh, but there was no particular change.
A cold sweat dotted her forehead as soon as they arrived at the banquet hall.
“Brother,” Sezh stopped walking and called Raytan.
Instead of answering, Raytan stared at her.
“That… “
“What?”
“I just got a little nervous …”
“Why?”
“I’m afraid to go in… that’s all.”
“So I’m asking you, why?”
Raytan asked as if he didn’t understand what she meant. Sezh wanted to have that personality. Honestly, she and Raytan were both uninvited guests here. People will start whispering and gossiping as soon as they enter the hall. Still, Raytan was so calm with his indifferent expression. She truly admired that.
“I’m afraid that people will laugh at me… they don’t even know I’m going to attend the debutante ball… Because of me, Brother too… will get that kind of treatment…”
Raytan paused for a second, then slowly parted his lips, “Other people’s stares are not my business.”
Of course, Raytan would say that. If he were a person who cared about such gazes, he would have suffered a hundred times worse. Sezh knew it well. The problem is that Sezh has a completely different personality from him.
“But you wanted to come here.”
“…… Yes?”
“Then that’s all. Just think about your feelings. Don’t mind other people’s stares.”
“…”
“If you feel good, then it’s enough.”
It was an answer she never thought Raytan would say. It was so unexpected that Sezh couldn’t say anything and only stared at him with a blank expression.
“Right. That is… that’s the most important thing,” Raytan murmured.
“Brother…”
“Fold your arms properly. You can’t clasp your hands like a child.”
Raytan spoke while moving his arm so their hands are in the escort position. Sezh hesitated for a moment, then followed his lead.
***
The banquet hall was already full of people.
For some reason, she kept feeling depressed, so Sezh held Raytan’s arm tightly and stepped cautiously. Strangely, everyone’s eyes seemed focused on them. Sezh finally realized it was because of Raytan.
From their viewpoint, it would be interesting that the ridiculed Princess Sezh came to her debut. However, more interesting would be the person escorting her was ‘that’ Raytan. A shred of guilt started to grow in her heart. Raytan now became a spectacle because of her.
Sezh was thinking of just spending her time quietly as if she wasn’t there. However, something was weird. The start time of the ball had already passed, but there was no music, and no one was dancing. People were all standing at the sideline. The middle of the ballroom was even empty. Also, everyone’s eyes were all directed toward her and Raytan. Sezh, confused, was about to head to the corner of the hall.
“….The first dance of the debutante ball,” Raytan opened his mouth with a stiff face. “Should be by the Royal Family.”
“Ye-Yes?”
“And in this debut, the only Royal Family member is you.”
“Brother…?”
“Let’s go, Sezh,” Raytan suddenly held her hand.
As the two headed to the middle of the banquet hall, the music started to play. Sezh felt gazes looking at her from all over the banquet hall. She never planned to attract attention at all. Sezh felt like she would vomit anytime soon, but Raytan looked unperturbed and just led her to begin the dance.
“I know that Mrs. Pauline has given up on your dance skills, but your partner is excellent, so don’t worry too much,” Raytan whispered into her ear. “But I didn’t expect you couldn’t dance even this much.”
“T-That’s not it, I’m just a bit surprised.”
It’s not just that she was so surprised, Sezh felt so nervous she was about to die. Still, she couldn’t embarrass herself in front of everyone. Right away, Sezh tried hard to follow the dance steps to make her look as experienced as possible. She felt she stepped on Raytan’s foot in the middle of the dance, but that wasn’t important now.
“Is this so surprising?”
Sezh nodded urgently.
“My mother already said it back then: she will do all the preparations for you.”
Of course, the reality was different. All of this was not for Sezh, but him instead. Its only purpose was to attract another person’s favor. There was no easier way to meet other people and get Carolyn Regent’s attention than this.
However…
Raytan looked at Sezh without saying anything. From the beginning, she already appeared so nervous. However, this time, the blush on her cheeks caught his eye first.
“Do things like me usually could go to such a debutante ball?” Along with her suddenly gloomy face, Sezh talked with a voice as small as a mosquito
‘Despite that… you’re fine.’
Raytan only said it in his mind and pulled Sezh into his arms.
“Think of this moment as if it’s all only for you.”
“…”
“Look, everyone is looking at you with a surprise.”
No, she wanted to say that their surprised faces didn’t carry a positive meaning. But in the end, she just nodded her head. The most important thing now is to focus her mind and prevent herself from falling over during the dance.
Sezh stepped on Raytan’s feet a couple of times, but fortunately, he got through the crises well. Even though he was trampled on by her heels several times, Raytan remained calm. And whenever Sezh stumbled, Raytan thankfully always caught her and pulled her back as if it were part of the dance.
When the dance ended and the music stopped, loud applause greeted her ears. Raytan delicately escorted Sezh back with a blank expression, and soon the gentlemen of noble families began to take over the floor space and dance with their partners.
Taking a breath while standing in front of the window, Sezh suddenly stared at the reflection of her polished figure. Her hair was a little messy, and she was sweating a little, but her appearance was still pleasant. She didn’t seem to be far behind the other aristocratic young maidens, beautifully decorated to the fullest today.
She never expected her debut to happen like this. She didn’t know about the first dance rule and ended up attracting attention from everyone. Her heart was pounding. Sezh felt sorry for Raytan, who had suffered through such an ordeal because of her.
If somebody asked if she really wanted to come to the debutante ball, Sezh wouldn’t answer yes. She wasn’t able to express it outwardly, but in fact, she wanted to come here. Like other young ladies from any aristocratic family, Sezh also fantasized about her debut since she was young.
Like this, it felt like she was just an ordinary princess. An ordinary princess who doesn’t get harassed or slandered… like Lillian. Sezh, who had been contemplating her thoughts alone, suddenly startled. A large hand had reached out to her without warning.
“Hair…”
Sezh wasn’t sure if he noticed her flinching, but Raytan also paused at the moment.
“Your hair is a little messy.”
He drew back his hand, and Sezh, who got embarrassed, smiled awkwardly and swept her hair back. Raytan was still staring and positioned himself next to her. Sezh looked up at him, so Raytan turned his gaze to the gathered nobles around them. As she kept her ears pricked towards, Sezh heard a faint conversation.
“That person, he must be-…”
“Be quiet. What if he hears you?”
“His eyes really are red. Like in that legend.”
‘…What’s wrong with that,’ Sezh pursed her lips without realizing it.
Indeed, Sezh was sometimes still scared of him. For example, when he makes the same cold expression he made as he cut her throat in the future she witnessed. Or when he lay his deadly daggered stares at Bern or Lilian wherever they threw some bullshit words… Or even when she forgets that as Raytan grows up, his eyes become remarkably fierce, and the cold aura he radiates becomes stronger. She must remember the day she died at his hands is coming, and she could do nothing to stop it.
Still, she hates it when others talk bad about him. They only despise him because of the color of his eyes and hair.
“But I don’t think it is as terrifying as I thought.”
At the unexpected words, Sezh concentrated her ears to listen in more carefully.
“In reality… it kind of looks cool. If that legend didn’t exist, a lot of young ladies would have been lining up for him. Am I right?
“You are right…”
Her lips, which had gone into a pout, went back to their usual shape. They weren’t even complimenting her, but Sezh felt better instantly. Those people were right. In her eyes, if you have to choose the coolest person in this place right now, the answer is obviously going to be Raytan. Besides, didn’t they just say kind words never before spoken today? Sezh carefully tapped Raytan’s hand.
“Brother.”
“What?”
“You know what? Today, Brother is so cool, really.”
“Sounds stupid,” Raytan smirked.
“It’s the truth. Today’s debutante ladies will surely be fascinated by you!”
“…”
“Let’s bet! They haven’t shown it yet, so let’s see when the dance is over. Everyone will come and talk to you.”
Raytan was silent for a moment. With a slightly darkened face, he only pressed his lips together firmly.
“I’m… serious….”
“…That’s a good thing then.”
“Yes?”
“Because all of this is for that reason.”
Sezh couldn’t understand what Raytan was talking about. She tilted her head for a moment then gathered a little more courage to open her lips again.
“And it’s nice that I could come here… but the most delightful thing for me is that the person who came with me is you.”
It’s the truth. Sezh was very grateful. He was the person who said that he would rather hang his neck and die than go to a place like this. And now, he’s here with her. Convincing her with a lot of soothing words and even holding her hands…
Of course, she couldn’t guess what else would happen in the future. Worst case scenario, Raytan could attempt a coup as he did before her age regression. Therefore, her neck might be slashed again for the second time.
But this feeling, she wanted to tell him badly.
“I will remember this moment forever.”
“…”
“Thank you so much.”
“Okay.”
As he replied with his baritone voice, Raytan reached out his hand once again to tidy up the hair slightly stuck out in her face.
After that, a light smile bloomed on his face. But something was strange. Why does that smile… somehow seem like it was full of sorrow?
“The dance will be over soon. Then some people will come to say hello to you. Brother can have a modest chat with them.”
“Where are you going?”
“I just need a second. Anyway, if Brother is still with me, it will be difficult for people who want to talk to you… “
The smile that was just carved in his face quickly disappeared. Raytan returned to his usual expression, walked away, and left Sezh behind. Did she see it wrong again? Sezh only stared at his back with a puzzled expression.
***
Raytan was scrutinizing the banquet hall with nothing but coldness in his eyes. He stood upright as the dance ended and looked at the nobles who had gathered on the floor.
‘The act of a good brother will soon end.’
His mother was right. He will no longer need to stick with Sezh. There is no reason to do so as Lize was looking for someone with more usable value. Besides, didn’t his mother say that Carolyn Regent was already interested in him? Raytan’s quite lucky.
‘And it’s nice that I could come here… but the most delightful thing for me is that the person who came with me is you.’
From his perspective, it wasn’t true that his mother already gave Sezh the best gift she could give. Although his mother ordered him to escort Sezh to her debut, he would have been willing to come here even if she hadn’t instructed him. One day, a few years ago, there was a time when he looked at Sezh, who was envious of Lilian. He’d thought he didn’t want to get mixed up with these idiots, but Raytan figured he’ll try to be patient at least once in his lifetime.
‘Yes, this is it.’
Raytan was talking to himself. The time with Sezh was over. Now, it was time to do what he had to do. Raytan set his lips and turned his head.
“Good evening, Prince Raytan.”
“…”
“It is such an honor to meet you.”
Reflected in his bloody crimson irises was the face of a woman with red cheeks.
“I’m Caroline Regent.”