Chapter 164: Never
I was sitting at a restaurant with Evangeline right now. She had accepted my date proposal, but because she spent so long getting ready, it was already evening. Honestly, I'm not really the dating type, but I'm trying my best for now. Of course, it would be nice if Evangeline could finally make a decision after struggling for about ten minutes on what to eat.
"So, what did you choose?"
Evangeline flinched at my question and, embarrassed, placed the menu on the table. As she put the menu down, she lightly rubbed her face and avoided eye contact, staying silent. A period of silence followed. Her indecisiveness was starting to get on my nerves. She was really difficult, but slowly and patiently, I had to approach this situation.
"What's available?" I asked, wrinkling my face.
Evangeline looked back at the menu, as if she might find something. The indecision in her eyes made me more tense, but I waited silently. After a few seconds, she finally looked up, signaling that she had made a decision.
"I think... I'll have a salad," she said, offering a faint smile. But that smile still seemed to carry traces of uncertainty.
"You've spent so much time on this, haven't you?" I asked in a lighter tone. My voice was still sarcastic, but I wanted to ease the situation a bit.
" I... No! I'll have the flaming venison," she said, choosing one of the restaurant's popular dishes.
"Okay... So, I'll have the same then."
After Gorson took our orders and left, he left me alone with Evangeline. She was looking at me nervously, occasionally glancing out the window at the people below.
"Eva, before we go to Asina, you said you wanted to talk about something. You know, the kiss thing. Do you want to talk about it now?"
Evangeline turned to me and hesitated for a moment. "No," she said simply. "... Yes," she said after a pause. "... No," she then added.
"... Alright. If you don't want to talk about it, we won't."
"No. Let's talk. How many women?" she suddenly asked.
".... I don't know, it's not clear yet"
"Do they need to interview for it? I just asked how many women love you."
Evangeline's question suddenly created a tense atmosphere hanging in the air. I turned to her and looked more carefully. It was like I didn't even know how to answer such a question. There was a brief emptiness in her eyes, a waiting look. I tried to understand what she was thinking, but this time, it wasn't that easy.
"I don't know... But I think there are quite a few," I replied, carefully choosing my words, trying not to go into further details.
"How many wives do you plan on having?" she asked again, with another sudden question.
I hadn't really thought about it before, but which ones would I make, my queen or queens? Roxanne? Isabella? Ellera? Catherine? Of course, if I married Evangeline, she would definitely be queen, and the princess of the Tiamat Empire would also have to be a queen. Now that I thought about it, choosing among them seemed very cruel.
"I don't know, but what I do know is that I want to make you my wife and my queen."
Upon hearing this, Evangeline suddenly blushed and turned her head away. Clearly, she wasn't prepared for my sudden compliment.
"But, Evangeline, you need to understand. Besides you, there will be other women I love. In fact... I even have a daughter now."
My words shocked Evangeline and leaned toward me. "What? When? Wait, were you hiding this from everyone? And who is her mother?"
Evangeline's eyes widened, her lips slightly parted. It was like what I said hit her like a sudden blow. A strange unease stirred within me, but I knew that at some point, I had to be honest about this with the person I was going to marry.
"Yes," I said, speaking freely about what was on my mind. "I have a daughter. From Asina. And... this happened a few years ago. But I only found out about it recently, and I hope you keep this information to yourself."
Evangeline nodded silently, but her gaze still avoided mine. She didn't speak for a while, only gently rubbing her hands on the table, as if trying to find the right words.
"So, who is the mother?" she asked again.
"You don't know her yet. She's a viscountess in my kingdom."
Evangeline stayed silent for a few seconds after hearing this. Her eyes were still distant, as if she was trying to process everything I said. Then she slowly lifted her head, looked at me, and paused for a moment.
"I don't know, Ethan. As much as I love you... this feels strange... the reality of having to share with you... It's unsettling. I'm sure all those women are really good people, but... I don't know."
Evangeline's words deepened the silence at the table. There was confusion in her eyes, a mix of understanding and unease. A discomforting silence fell. I didn't know what to say because there wasn't much I could do in the face of Evangeline's feelings. I understood how she felt, but I didn't want to make the situation even harder.
"Eva, I understand you," I said, my voice softening. "But really, I want you to be with me. The final decision will always be yours, but... sometimes life gets so complicated, unexpected things happen... You know "
Evangeline turned her eyes back to me, but this time in a calmer way. "I know," she said, but there was still that nervousness in her voice. "But sharing you... I just don't know if I can handle it."
We remained silent for a while, with only the reflection of the outside lights, the meals on the table, and the empty plates in place. I knew Evangeline was processing something inside, but I didn't want to pressure her.
"If it's going to be that difficult, maybe it'll take a little more time," I said, locking my eyes with hers. "But I promise I'll do my best to handle everything with you."
Evangeline took a deep breath and then nodded slightly. "With time?" she said. "This won't be easy to get used to, but... I love you, Ethan. I just... need some time."
When I heard this answer, I felt relieved on one hand, but on the other, I still had mixed feelings. Life doesn't always have to be easy, anyway. Like in every relationship, a balance had to be found here, too. And even though this process would be hard, at least knowing Evangeline was with me made me feel hopeful about the future. In the end, Evangeline would be an excellent ally... No. I'm doing it again.
When I remembered what Violet had said, perhaps there were some truths in it. I really should stop thinking about my relationships based on my interests. But then, how would I achieve my goals? I would probably find a way, but what I had right now seemed like the easiest path to my goals. Also, isn't human nature selfish?
In my opinion, no relationship can be one-sided. This doesn't just apply to romantic relationships, it could be true for all relationships. But if we consider a romantic relationship, aren't they selling love to each other? Why would it be wrong to call a relationship model that can continue as long as you give attention to your girlfriend, trade? Every person who expects something after doing something is making a trade. Anyway, these are difficult philosophical questions to answer or at least explain. Let's get back to the date for now.
After Evangeline's words, a silence had fallen between us, both of us seemingly lost in our own thoughts. My eyes focused on the table, but I still had hundreds of thoughts in my mind.
Maybe I was overthinking this. However, suppressing my feelings was difficult. Evangeline, still being so indecisive, pushed me in some way. But I didn't want to pressure her. I knew that in that moment; she needed the time she required.
As the ambiance of the restaurant, the outside silence, and the soft lights inside blended together, Evangeline slowly lifted her head and looked at me. She took a deep breath and parted her lips. .net
"Ethan..." she said, her voice still trembling a little. "I don't know, maybe... maybe it's just hard to handle something this big, right? All these women, this... mess. But I love you, really. So I need to think about this."
I nodded. "I know," I said, moving a little closer to her. "And I know I need to understand that. I'm sure everything will take time. But I won't force you. Time... yes, time is what we all need."
Evangeline looked away, but somehow, she smiled at me. Slowly, she began to play with her hands on the table, as if she were trying to choose the right words.
"Sometimes... sometimes everything feels so complicated, Ethan. Relationships, people, expectations... These things are hard for me," she said, pausing for a moment. "But still, I don't want to lose you... Never"