The System Mistook Me for a Cat

The filming location for this episode of "And Then There Were None" is in Guman City.

The production team rented an abandoned building and transformed it into a "haunted house."

Four people from the "Tiger Head" production crew arrived: Cheng Luwei, who plays the male lead police officer; the male lead's neighbor's son who serves as comic relief and is an idol from a soon-to-disband limited group; the police captain, who is a third-tier actor with formal training; and the female lead, Tong Bei.

Besides these four guest stars, the "And Then There Were None" variety show also has four regular cast members and one special guest.

This time, the special guest is Shen Xiwen, who is Tong Bei's partner from other variety shows. Due to his large mouth and tendency to blurt out strange gossip, he earned the nickname "Big Mouth" in the industry.

Special guests are non-regular positions that might appear for one or two episodes or even follow through an entire season. Big Mouth had appeared once before, having a particularly miserable time on an island. As soon as he arrived this time, he immediately approached Tong Bei, shouting:

"Flower Bei, you have to form an alliance with me!"

Before Tong Bei could respond, Cheng Luwei sighed, "Brother Mouth, the cameras are rolling. If you two form an alliance off-camera, I might have to report you to the production team!"

Big Mouth Shen was startled and turned to see the hovering drone not far away. "Whoa!"

He wanted to get a closer look at the drone but noticed that the silver-shelled flying ball automatically drifted backward and increased its altitude, though its camera remained focused on his face.

This wasn't a live broadcast, but rather filming for behind-the-scenes footage.

Everyone shared a laugh, and the other two people, having finished their makeup, entered the break room.

The regular cast members' break room was separate from the other guests'.

Among the five people in the room, only Big Mouth Shen had experience participating in the show. Sitting in the middle, he gestured as he spoke:

"Trust me, we're definitely on the same side! Forming alliances is crucial in this show, or you'll be eliminated very quickly. Once the show starts, I'll prioritize forming alliances with you all—"

He gestured around the room, then suddenly exclaimed, "Oh right, what about that young lady... the one with the cat? Isn't she doing promotions with you?"

He lowered his voice when saying this, hinting at the production team to cut this part from the behind-the-scenes footage.

When he mentioned "the one with the cat," everyone immediately knew he was referring to Chu Tingwu.

Although Chu Tingwu had only spent a little over a month with the production team, she was a remarkable presence—

As a "behind-the-scenes staff member," she had more fans than some actors and generated particularly high engagement.

Especially recently, even as the movie's popularity had declined, Chu Tingwu's popularity had risen.

Surprisingly, she first became popular overseas before gaining fame domestically.

Chu Tingwu's series of livestream videos about the grey wolves in the protection zone maintained high popularity overseas. Perhaps due to people's inexplicable filter toward foreign content, when someone reposted the videos on domestic websites, Chu Tingwu's videos went viral again.

She had some fame in pet circles, niche sports circles, and even police investigation circles, often breaking through these boundaries, but this time her national recognition seemed broader.

A few days after the videos went viral, the Central TV Station obtained authorization to use parts of her livestream footage in their own grey wolf documentary.

It was a documentary about Michel, and Chu Tingwu had captured her final footage... Predictably, for many years to come, any video material related to Michel would reference this footage.

Director Mu Lou must be grinning in his sleep to have such a "performer" in his film who could become popular independently and provide such great value for money.

Tong Bei shook her head: "Teacher Chu's contract doesn't include promotional obligations."

Chu Tingwu's role was no bigger than an extra's, she didn't even show her face in the film, playing a role more minor than a passerby, and she wasn't willing to participate in post-production promotion, so this wasn't included in her contract.

The "And Then There Were None" production team would love to invite Chu Tingwu as her popularity was high—even award-winning actors with small roles would be invited if possible, as they bring attention.

Cheng Luwei interjected: "If Teacher Chu won't come, the production team could invite Three Five Five!"

After all, there's no rule saying guests must be human!

Big Mouth Shen laughed, thinking Cheng Luwei was making some kind of joke: "The production team probably thinks a cat's cute personality wouldn't match our show's horror atmosphere."

Besides, cats can't understand the show's rules and would only cause chaos.

Though Three Five Five was fierce in the movie, he believed that was just acting. When he thought of cats, especially long-haired ones, he inexplicably had this beautiful and gentle filter in his mind... perhaps because the first long-haired cat he thought of was a Ragdoll.

Unexpectedly, his comment caused even the usually quiet police captain actor to show a strange expression.

Due to status hierarchy, the two leads and Big Mouth Shen talked more, while the idol group member mostly smiled and added occasional comments, and the captain actor was generally quiet, often remaining silent during shows.

For this episode, they all had to play their characters, meaning they had specific roles, which is why Cheng Luwei sometimes directly called the other person "Captain."

The Captain asked: "Does Brother Mouth know this episode's rules?"

"Oh..." Big Mouth Shen nodded, "We're supposed to have team competitions in this haunted house-themed building, including a hostage rescue process, and there will be scoring at the end."

At this moment, the production's associate director pushed open the door: "Brother Mouth, how could you leak our rules again?"

Big Mouth Shen protested: "You didn't say we couldn't talk about it yesterday!"

He had arrived a day early and had dinner with some crew members.

The associate director snorted and called everyone to get in the car: "Our two police officers, young master, little office worker, and street wanderer... get in the car, the rules will be announced once we're inside."

"Young master" naturally referred to the idol group member's role, "little office worker" was Tong Bei's character, and as for street wanderer—

Big Mouth Shen: "I hate you guys."

Couldn't they give him a cooler, more outstanding character?

The five people boarded a tour bus, and the associate director first had staff members give them five culture shirts.

They were short-sleeved hooded styles that could be worn over clothes, in eye-catching bright orange. After putting them on, the "young master" was surprised to discover: "Does this hood have ears? Is this supposed to be an orange cat?"

"Yes," the associate director said, "you five are the Orange Cat team, and not just orange cats, but police cats."

Big Mouth Shen: "Oh! So those four are the other team?"

He was referring to the four regular cast members who hadn't appeared yet, clearly having different tasks.

After asking, Big Mouth Shen winked at Tong Bei: See? I told you we'd be allies.

The associate director smiled mysteriously:

"Let me explain the rules first!"

"You five have heard about illegal research being conducted in a building. Some of you came on purpose, others stumbled in by accident, and then the building's doors became impossible to open."

Big Mouth Shen mouthed: We're looking for keys again this episode.

"Some of you want to leave, some want to explore, and others want to investigate the situation—"

After finishing, the associate director handed them each a nameplate:

[Exit] corresponded to the young master, [Explore] to the street wanderer Big Mouth Shen, [Investigate] to the Captain and Cheng Luwei, while Tong Bei received her nameplate and found a question mark on her label.

Tong Bei pointed to herself: "Is my motivation not fixed?"

The assistant director nodded. "These name tags are actually 'keys' that can open different rooms in the building—and only by the corresponding person. Your three keys can open three rooms, marked 'Leave,' 'Explore,' and 'Investigate,' which are quite obvious. However, Tong Bei can also open these rooms, but she can only choose one."

Everyone nodded, and Tong Bei looked around, but the assistant director changed the subject. "However, although your keys are single-use, there are other single-use keys to be found in the building."

Tong Bei: "..."

She understood. All that fancy talk: there are actually four types of keys in the building, three corresponding to their respective rooms, and one universal key, which needs to be found through clues and observation.

And the four keys are tied to the four of them.

Seeing that they understood, the assistant director continued. "But there are still experimental personnel who haven't left the building, as well as hostages trapped—"

"Young Master, the key to leaving the building is around the neck of one of the experimental personnel. You must snatch the key to leave the building."

Young Master: "Well, I hope that key isn't around Brother Lin's neck."

They all guessed that the "experimental personnel" referred to the other fixed guests.

Among them, "Brother Lin" is a muscular man who has been exercising and bodybuilding all year round, standing at 1.95 meters tall. He used to be an action star. And Young Master only has a thin layer of abdominal muscles from dancing, which is more for show than use.

The assistant director smiled and looked at Shen Xiwen. "Street Wanderer, there are five experimental personnel in total, and you definitely know all of them, but not all are familiar. They wear masks, and you must remove all the masks to leave the building."

Shen Xiwen: "Wait..."

He counted: "Five? Who else, isn't it you!"

There are only four fixed guests on the show, and he definitely knows those four. In the last episode on the island, they even had a pillow fight over a coconut!

The assistant director waved his hand. "It's also a guest. The program team added an extra to the 'Orange Cat Team,' so we also added one to the 'Freak Experimental Maniacs' to increase the difficulty."

This way, the numbers of the two teams match.

The Orange Cat Team: "?"

Extra? Where is the extra?

The assistant director didn't explain and continued. "Captain, and Cheng Luwei, your tasks are the heaviest because you two have a stable relationship that won't betray each other. There are twelve hostages in the building, and you must rescue all of them to leave the building."

After saying that, he posted the photos of the hostages on the whiteboard in front of him, and the others burst out laughing.

The so-called "twelve hostages" are actually twelve human-sized pillows, and they are quite famous celebrities in the circle, all of whom are friends, partners, or teammates of the five guests.

The assistant director finally said, "Little Office Worker, whether you can leave depends on the others—when only one remains alive, or if three out of the four succeed in leaving, you can leave the building!"

Tong Bei frowned: "..."

"Of course," the assistant director looked at her with a puzzled expression. "The name of our show is 'No One Survives,' do you really think you're here to play a game?"

There is definitely a death elimination mechanism in the show.

However, no matter how the others urged, the assistant director didn't explicitly state what the elimination mechanism was, only telling them, "You'll know when the time comes."

Just before getting off the bus, Young Master suddenly remembered: "Wait... Sister Tong, isn't your position a bit off?"

The assistant director had mentioned that "the two police won't betray each other" and "when only one remains, the Little Office Worker can leave," which means their alliance is inherently unstable!

But everyone has to form an alliance—because the three keys correspond to three locks, and only the person with the key can use it. Although the requirements for clearing are different, cooperating is more efficient.

Tong Bei: "Hmm? It's a bit early to doubt me now! And only I can use the universal key, dividing everyone now won't benefit you."

Shen Xiwen stroked his chin: "But, Tong Bei, you also said that only you can use the universal key. If we hide in the room and you use the key to lead the other team, won't we be wiped out?"

Tong Bei rebutted: "I definitely won't do that—because that would make the show too short!"

The others: That's too real of a reason!

Although the conversation was a bit "meta," the program team didn't intervene—

In fact, the program had already started filming, and everyone was an experienced insider. The presence of the drone was less noticeable than the camera, and everyone's performance in front of the lens was more natural, accidentally immersing themselves.

...Not to mention, without the camera on the bus, it didn't feel so crowded.

The bus stopped in front of the building, which used to be an office building but was now empty due to location issues. The door was wide open, and the wind passing through gave it an eerie desolation.

Shen Xiwen instinctively wanted to look for the staff, but he quickly realized that there were fewer staff in the building than he imagined—because this time, they would use indoor drones and fixed cameras for the first time.

Shen Xiwen: "I'm not used to this..."

But he vaguely felt that other programs might also switch to this method in the future.

Because the total cost is actually lower, and the shooting effect is good.

During the program, each person will be followed by a drone, and at this time, the assistant director also brought the "extra" for the Orange Cat Team.

It was... a cat.

More precisely, a long-haired tortoiseshell cat wearing an orange cat head mask.

The assistant director said indifferently:

"The program team couldn't invite a real police cat, so we had to hire a stand-in. Everyone can come over and greet the stand-in actor. Here, this is your camera."

Compared to the humans who were easily startled, San Wuwu was already used to drones and couldn't be bothered to lift her eyes.

Cheng Luwei was shocked: "San Wuwu?! Is Teacher Chu here?"

The assistant director: "What San Wuwu? This is our stand-in actor, Wu Wu San, right Wu Wu San?"

Everyone: "Hey!"

Just reversing the name is enough to pretend it's not the same cat?

The captain greeted San Wuwu and then wondered: "So how will she be our extra?"

He had also learned about police cats and couldn't help but think that maybe this cat would understand commands and interact like a police cat, following the police as their assistant.

The assistant director told him he was overthinking: "Of course, she'll help however she wants—it wouldn't be fair to only help the two police, everyone is a member of the Orange Cat Team."

Shen Xiwen: "Right, right, right!"

Shen Xiwen suddenly pulled out a cat treat from his pocket: "So the stand-in actor can help whoever she wants... but I can also try to get her help, right?"

Why did you bring cat treats to the show?

Although they complained, the others guessed that Shen Xiwen had probably learned more information than he revealed or was reminded by the other fixed guests to bring something to please the cat!

Although they guessed, everyone still pretended to be surprised and angry, blaming him for getting ahead—but they soon laughed because the "stand-in actor" didn't even acknowledge them.

San Wuwu walked past the strange humans and into the lobby on the first floor. The others were also pushed in by the assistant director, and the transparent door closed behind them with a "beep," the electronic lock lighting up with a red lock symbol.

San Wuwu looked up and around.

Tong Bei immediately walked over to San Wuwu, crouched down, and showed her her ID card: "San Wuwu, does this ID card have a special smell? Can you tell by sniffing? If you can, meow once, if you can't, meow twice!"

Three Five Five glanced at her: "Meow—Meow."

If the card in her hand were hidden, the cat might still be able to sniff it out, but for other ordinary cards, how could they possibly be found in such a large building?

Don't be too hard on the cat.

-

After the five guests entered the building, those upstairs, including Chu Tingwu, also received the news.

They were currently seated in a round conference room, encircling the table.

... Chu Tingwu really was here to visit the set.

Before coming, she had contacted Director Mu Lou to ask if her presence would affect the filming, but she wasn't sure how Director Mu Lou conveyed the message—

The production team eagerly called her, expressing their enthusiasm and asking if Chu Tingwu would like to be a guest participant!

Chu Tingwu: "?"

Production team: "Don't worry, it'll be quick, and you'll hardly show your face! Oh, and it's best to bring Three Five Five along; she has a significant role!"

Yes, Three Five Five's role was indeed significant. As a calico cat, she was to play the part of an orange cat in the show.

... It was quite a struggle to put a headgear on this big-name stand-in actress.

Chu Tingwu, meanwhile, joined the experimental group as an external aid.

The full name of this group was actually "Super Dog Experimental Weirdos."

The experimental weirdos:

"What's so great about cats? Dogs are the fluffy creatures that can save the world. Our dream is to grant everyone dog-like abilities—explosive strength, keen sense of smell, sharp hearing... and so on! That's why we keep recruiting people for experiments. Join the Dog Cult with us!"

Chu Tingwu: Sorry, I'm a cat.

She sat at one end of the round table, wearing a golden retriever mask, and sighed.

The person opposite her wore an Alaskan Malamute mask and was excitedly swaying in his seat, while the person next to him wore a black French bulldog mask, looking like he was always raising an eyebrow and glaring at people.

Two others stood, one shorter, who the production team had intentionally given a Chihuahua mask, and the other, a fluffy white Pomeranian.

According to their setup—

Chihuahua: "Someone has intruded into the building. Perfect, we can have new experimental subjects again."

Pomeranian: "Be careful they don't escape and expose us instead. Golden Retriever, is it really okay to entrust you with the key?"

Chu Tingwu: "…Don't worry."

But was it really appropriate for this high-end villainous organization to use dog names as code names internally?

The key the young master wanted, which was also the key to the door, was now hanging around Chu Tingwu's neck.

Behind them, there were also unmanned flying balls recording... and Chu Tingwu knew that the system had secretly taken control of the one behind her, aiming to capture better footage of her own little one without alarming the staff.

The winning rules for the dog team and the cat team were naturally different.

Each of the five members of the cat team had different winning rules, appearing unified but actually having divided loyalties and personal agendas.

The dog team, on the other hand, had unified goals.

Chu Tingwu felt that the person who designed the rules had sneakily inserted stereotypes.

Their path to victory was a simple process—

The hoods of the cat team had special stickers on both the front and back. Aiming the sensor gun at the patterns on these stickers would cause them to change color from orange-yellow to red.

This sensor gun could only shoot within five meters.

When all four stickers on a person turned red, the dedicated unmanned flying ball would loudly announce: "You have lost your ability to move, please do not resist, do not struggle, countdown 5 minutes..."

The unmanned flying ball would project the countdown, during which the dog team could come and lead the cat team member away to the "laboratory."

The laboratory was a room with glass doors on all sides, without any doors or locks. The dog team could convert the cat team members into dogs here.

... That is, press them onto chairs and, once the designated time was up, put masks on their faces.

Of course—

Alaskan Malamute said: "Why should they get 30 seconds of escape just by completing those simple little games!"

Being caught and having to be converted was too pitiful... so the cat team members could also save themselves by drawing a challenge card from the experimental table and completing the dare-like challenge on it, allowing them to escape the laboratory.

However, they could only escape for thirty seconds. After that, the dog team member who caught them could pursue them.

Moreover, the cat team could resist or even counterattack. Although everyone knew it was just a show and they wouldn't really fight on the program, the rules allowed the cat team to take the dog team's guns or trick their way through the five-minute debilitation period. If someone's strength was insufficient, there was no way to forcibly drag them away.

Alaskan Malamute muttered: "Those challenges are too easy. Why not put some harder ones on the cards so they can only draw the difficult ones."

Chu Tingwu: "Hmm... I checked, and there don't seem to be any particularly difficult ones—pull-ups, handstands, push-ups, frog jumps... the hardest is only doing thirty in a row or holding for two minutes. How about this, we trick them into thinking they have to complete three challenge tasks at once to get the 30 seconds of escape?"

"After all, the cat team members don't know the exact rules."

Didn't this mean that the production team also thought they could make things up?

The staff behind the cameras: Hey!

Why does this guest look so unfazed when talking about "deceiving" people? They may not be following the shoot, but they're still watching the live broadcast!

All the behind-the-scenes staff are watching in the studio!

Chu Tingwu waved her hand to the screen that was approaching: "The rules don't say we can't deceive, do they?"

She then gave Alaskan Malamute a "thumbs up": "The production team didn't respond, so it should be okay. Let's do it!"

Alaskan Malamute gave her a thumbs up: "Great!"

Chu Tingwu: "Then you go catch people, and I'll go to the laboratory to rest... no, to pick out the hardest part. I'm well-trained, so I'll give them a real challenge!"

Alaskan Malamute: "Oh oh!"

The production team, which was about to open the mic to refuse: "……"

This guest, don't deceive your teammates first before deceiving others!