Chapter 330 - An Ugly Confession
"Syryn, Syryn, Syryn, do you know? You have been deceived."
"It's you again," he answered the child-like being that had pulled him into its dimension.
"I'm here to stop you from making the biggest mistake of your life!"
"And what would that be?"
"look, I know you don't trust me, but hear me out. Do you know the real truth of your death, Syryn?"
"I killed myself."
"NO! It was Rowan that killed you. He drove a sword into your heart and had your body incinerated with the flame of the Pheonix."
Syryn refused to believe it. "Why would Rowan do such a thing?"
"It's simple. Someone asked him, no, begged him, to kill you."
"Someone who?"
"Someone who hated you and everything you ever did."
Syryn wasn't wavering yet but he also wasn't feeling so calm anymore.
"you're lying," he accused it. "I don't believe you."
"Then why don't you ask Rowan? You'll only believe him, won't you?"
Now Syryn was wavering. He felt sick in the stomach because he had trusted Rowan's every word. Why would Rowan tell him the truth if he had killed Syryn?
"I want to leave."
"Ask Rowan, Syryn. And decide for yourself if you wish to yoke your fate with the man who is responsible for the suffering you endured. When you're ready for it, run away, run as far as you can from him." Syryn's mind was whirling. Had everything been a lie? "Find the necklace in your satchel and ask Salem about it. It will lead you to the man who can stand up to Rowan. And when you've found him, I will help unravel the memories that the sage could not."
"Let me out, now!"
____
Rowan had been beside himself with worry for Syryn. At the latter's touch, the lantern bud had bloomed so big and bright that it had blinded all the naysayers who had been waiting to see Syryn fail. What should have been a joyous moment had turned sour when Syryn fainted in Rowan's arms. The lantern bud was forgotten as Rowan carried Syryn back home and waited for him to return from wherever he was taken to.
"Ryn!" He grasped his lover's hand when violet eyes opened.
Syryn looked up at him and Rowan knew something was very wrong.
The alchemist sat up and glanced at the band that was wrapped around his finger. What was a lie? What wasn't? Even the sage had gone quiet and was no longer speaking to him.
"Ryn, are you okay?" Rowan asked the pale-faced man who hadn't said a word to him.
"Ro," Syryn finally spoke. His voice was low and dull. "Did you kill me in the first timeline?"
What he did want Rowan to say? No. He wanted the blond to deny it, and for them to continue acting like a pair of old lovers.
"Who told you that?" Rowan answered after a few seconds which had felt like hours to Syryn.
"Did you kill me?" Syryn asked again, already knowing the answer. It was easy to tell since Rowan hadn't answered straight the first time.
"Yes."
The confirmation was a stone falling into a pond. The waters splashed and Syryn began to drown in air.
"Yes? Is that all you're going to say, Ro?"
Their hearts were breaking and Rowan couldn't say anything that could make it better. He was bound by the power of his vow to a deity who had wanted this from the very start.
"I-" he couldn't think straight anymore. "I have nothing to tell you, Ryn." Rowan hated how powerless he was to stop what was happening.
Trust me. I love you. Don't leave me. Don't leave me.
"Rowan," Syryn said to the anti mage whose blue eyes held untold pain and suffering. "I have to go away for a while." Syryn's voice shook from emotion.
"Where?" Rowan unconsciously reached out to grasp Syryn's hand.
"I don't know," Syryn replied. He was a lost man out at sea with nothing to cling to. Syryn wanted to scream and lash out at something. He wanted to cry and crawl into a hole where nobody would find him.
Rowan held Syryn's hand and held it close to his heart. An emptiness he hadn't felt since the day Syryn had died; it was coming back. "Is there anything I can say to make you stay?"
Syryn wanted to be heartless but somewhere deep inside, a voice cried out for Rowan.
"Listen, Ro," he told the anti mage as he leaned his forehead against Rowan's chest. "I have to go and figure out what the truth is. You understand this, don't you?"
Rowan breathed in the scent of the mage and nodded. He couldn't trust himself to speak lest he beg Syryn to stay.
"Don't follow me, Ro. Don't let me see your face till I've found the truth about us. And when I return, it'll be because-" Syryn lifted his face to look into Rowan's eyes. "I'll come back and I hope that it won't be to avenge myself for what you did in the past."
Rowan had made many mistakes along the way. He wasn't perfect by any means but he had tried so hard to close the gap between Syryn and himself. And the harder he tried, the wider the rift tore. He wasn't sure if he had the strength to let go of Syryn anymore than he had in the past. This would be the final test that could break him.
"Don't be too long, Ryn," his palms cupped Syryn's face. "I'll miss you."
This wonderful, amazing man had killed him, Syryn reminded himself. He had even admitted to it. But the heart wanted what it wanted.
The alchemist angled his lips over Rowan's. He kissed and was kissed back with a fervour that set them both aflame. The passion between them was undeniable.
"Rowan, I'm not saying goodbye to anyone."
"I understand."
"You won't follow me, will you?"
"I couldn't."
Syryn nodded.
"Don't get lost on the road, Ryn."
"I won't."
He wouldnt.. Rowan would make sure of it.