The Beautiful Monster

Alyssa sighed as she nodded. She rubbed the back of her neck, feeling the tension back there and in her shoulders. She really needed to relax somehow.

"He just can't take that much time, you know? If he doesn't come with me, I'll have to do student housing, which means I need to turn an application in soon.

If he does come with me, we have to try to find an apartment. These things take time," she said.

Zoe reached across the table to take Alyssa's hands.

"Hey, breathe. I know you're freaking out, but you still have a few more weeks of leeway left.

Just spend time with him and show him how great it will be for you guys to live together," she said. "He might be nervous of that next big step."

Alyssa nodded as she squeezed Zoe's hands, using the grip for stability. Zoe was probably right.

He needed a little push. It was a huge thing to ask of him. He probably didn't expect to move to New York right after graduation.

"What am I going to do without you? I'm going to fall apart," Alyssa fretted. She needed Zoe too.

"It'll be okay. I'll be a phone call away," Zoe said with a sad smile. "I am going to miss stuff like this, though."

"Me too. Everything is going to be so different," Alyssa sighed. She was excited for some things, but other things seemed like they would be so hard to get used to.

She would be starting over from scratch. New environment. New place. New friends. It was another reason why she wanted Elias to come. At least they would have each other as they adjusted to a new place and new life.

"But it'll be good. We're chasing our dreams. We found our dream guys," Zoe pointed out with a happier look. "We did good."

"We did good," Alyssa repeated with a nod. They came far since they met, and she was grateful for that. When she met Zoe, there was so much that she wanted to change about herself.

Now, there were only a few things because she was actually happy with herself and who she had become. She wanted to do some more growing, but she had a great foundation. She had put in the work.

"Just try not to panic so much. I don't want you to spiral and run off again," Zoe said in a soft voice.

Alyssa thought back to when she found out that her dad passed away. She completely lost it and left campus to go to a funeral that she wasn't even welcome at.

She just felt like she needed to say goodbye, and she did. She said goodbye to her entire family that day and hadn't been back since.

"I won't. I have no place to run off to," Alyssa pointed out. She wasn't going to go back to her parents' house, and there was no other family that she would go to. The only place she had was her dorm.

Zoe gave her a stern look.

"That's not the point," she said.

Alyssa cracked an amused smile.

"Yeah, yeah. I promise I won't run off," she swore. There was no point in running. She had a life to live. She couldn't just up and leave it behind when she had so much to do.

"Good. Because I will hunt you down this time," Zoe said as she pointed at Alyssa, prompting laughter from the both of them.

Alyssa liked these moments. All of her worries seemed to melt away, and she felt like she didn't have a care in the world.

She felt so much lighter, but then reality always came crashing right back down on her. It never lasted long, but she was going to try to make this moment last as long as she could.

"So, let's talk about this graduation party."

 ***********

It seemed like the professors were having a competition on who could give the most papers or assignments.

Alyssa had her own laptop now after working hard to earn the money for it, but she still found herself in the library when she really needed to focus.

Right now, she needed to grind to get everything done in time.

It was hard juggling all that she had to, but she knew that it was good practice for medical school. She would have to juggle way more there and beyond, so she might as well get used to it now.

She flipped through her textbook as she sat at one of the tables in the library, trying to finish one of her two papers due this week.

She texted Elias earlier that she would call him before bed. It was another night that they couldn't see each other.

She still hadn't heard anything yet, but he had been in a good mood lately, so maybe that was a good sign. She didn't know what to think anymore, though.

She managed to finish up her essay within an hour. It wasn't her best work, but it would get her the A that she needed.

She unplugged her flash drive from her laptop and stood to walk over to the printing stations. A gasp broke from her when she almost ran into someone.

"Oh, sorry," she said before looking up into the stark golden brown eyes of a man who looked like a student.

His hair was a dark brown color with a side part.

He wore a white collared shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and black slacks. He looked fairly business-like but with a slightly boyish face.

"It's okay, dear," the man said with a small smirk. His eyes swept over her as he tilted his head at her. "We haven't met yet. That's unfortunate."

Alyssa laughed awkwardly, feeling heat flush through her face. Some social interactions still left her a bit flustered. She didn't think that was ever going to go away.

"How's that unfortunate?" she asked him, not knowing what he meant.