Chapter 283 - Just More Than Strangers
"See you later, Koi." They waved at her as Kizhashi returned and waved at them as well, while smiling nervously. I waited for them to turn around the staircase, and asked her, "What is wrong with you?"
"Huh?" She looked at me with a confused look on her face as I pressed, "Why didn't you say something to oppose them?"
"I tried to get away from them but they were being pushy." She laughed nervously, as I raised my eyebrows and asked, "And you couldn't push them away?"
"I didn't want to make a scene here."
"That's understandable, but I don't get why you're so submissive when it comes to them?"
"Shut up… it's not like that!"
"Why were you talking with them in the first place?"
"Weren't you with Reina and other girls?" I asked as she laughed and replied, "Yeah… but they went ahead of me."
"What?"
I found it rather weird and difficult to comprehend that Reina left her behind with Isobe and Uyeno, even though she was aware of their dynamic with Kizhashi and how they actually were.
"I mean… it's not like they left me behind. They went ahead because I was talking with them."
"I see…"
"And I wasn't expecting Uyeno to jump up on me like that so I was caught off guard." She was trying to brush off this conversation, but I ended up asking, "How long will you be like this?"
"Huh?"
Kizhashi was again wearing that masquerade of a smile that I noticed after quite a long time. All this while, I thought that she was slowly starting to be a bit more genuine, but it's just that her nature was like that.
"Are you scared of them?" I asked, as the smile on her face faded away slowly and she asked in an indifferent tone, "What the fuck are you talking about?"
"I can't find your usual bold self when you're against them… why is that?"
"Don't be stupid. There's nothing like that, you dumbass."
"Then why were you letting yourself go with the flow when she was pulling your hand? Huh?" I asked and waited for her to reply before adding, "You do understand their intentions weren't good, right?"
"Then why did you separate yourself from Reina and others?"
"Shut up! It's not like you're there to understand what happened!" She burst out on me as my questions were probably irritating her.
I don't know why I was asking her all these questions.
Why was I even expecting an answer from her?
"How long will you keep depending on others to speak for you? You have such a bright personality and yet you let trash like them throw you around." I asked in a rather annoyed tone as she mumbled, "It's not like I depend on others. I could've handled them myself… I always faced my problems by myself."
What was seriously wrong with me?
I wanted to stop myself from prying into her, but my mouth was working faster than my brain.
"Yeah… and what is your method? To self destroy yourself in front of the problem so that it can't break you anymore?" I asked while staring into her eyes as she clenched her jaws and shot back at me, "Ayo shut up, you're talking too much today!"
"Have you seen yourself lately? You're depressed and what's your idea of facing a problem? Overthinking about it to the point that you end up stressing yourself for nothing?" She finished and looked at me with a frown on her face as I shrugged, "Well I'm not talking about myself."
She was right, but I don't think that I was that much gullible that she looked right through me.
"I know my part of the deal was to help you… but what'll you do once school is over and I'm gone? Gaisen is gone? Reina as well… what will…" I asked her, rather than getting back to her what she said and she averted her gaze and mumbled, "You talk like you understand everything, Mr Smartass."
"Of course, I don't understand your circumstances as well as you do…" I nodded, and clenching her jaws, she said, "It's none of your business… don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong."
"See… I'm not in the mood to have a fight with you. Spare me the stress."
"Wha… I'm stressing you out now?" She stepped towards me and spouted, "Who the fuck told you to help me, huh? I don't remember asking for help from your stupidass!!!"
"Don't raise your voice at me, talk like a normal person." I tried to calm her down as she moved back from me, averted her gaze while saying in a low tone, "You started this… you're talking like you know everything about me."
I was a fool to start this conversation with her. There was no point in telling her those things because she wasn't going to change the way she was and I was at least bothered about whatever she was doing in the first place.
"I don't…"
"Then better shut the fuck up." She said, and added under her breath, "See, I'm just doing my part of that shitty deal you proposed and you're doing yours… that's it!"
"I know that fact very well…"
"Then who the fuck are you to throw that attitude towards me?"
"Franky saying, I'm no one in your life." Staring towards her annoyed face, I sighed and continued, "We can't even call ourselves friends. I mean, we never were, to begin with…"
There was a trickling period of silence between us as both of us stood there while stealing glances at each other. I could feel the tension building up between us.
"We're nothing, but just a bit more than strangers at this point." Kizhashi stood there glancing at me as I finished, "It has always been like this."
"I shouldn't have said…" I decided to end the conversation and walked past her as she said in a low voice, "Yeah… whatever. My bad for yelling at you like that."
"Sorry."
That was a great way to start my vacation.