Chapter 18: 17
Lucian looked at the woman in his arms. She looked almost dead. What if she had died? He couldn't understand why he was being so cruel to her.
Quickly he wrapped her in the blankets he brought and then lifting her head slightly he tried to make her drink some water. She couldn't drink much as she was half conscious and seemed to slowly drift away.
He tried to wake her up. "Hazel, look at me." But her eyes slowly fluttered down and she lost consciousness completely.
With a sigh Lucian placed her carefully on the bed then added a few more blankets. He put fire everywhere he could then tried to warm her up by rubbing her hands and feet. While rubbing her feet a memory flashed through his mind.
In his memory there was a woman, he was washing her feet while she watched him shyly. He tried to see her face but the memory disappeared as quickly as it came.
Lucian tried to remember some more but as usual every time he tried to remember his head throbbed so painfully it felt like it was going to burst. Ignoring the memories he tried to focus on Hazel. She was in this state because of him so he was responsible for her. He kept rubbing her hands and feet until she woke up.
Slowly Hazel opened her eyes and the first thing she said was... "Lucian."
"I am here." He said instinctively and drew her into his arms. Right now he didn't care if he exposed himself and ruined his plan, all he wanted to do was protect this woman and make her feel safe. He didn't even care to ask himself why anymore. The sense of protectiveness he felt was too strong that nothing else seemed to matter.
"How are you feeling?" He asked.
"I am fine now." She smiled a faint smile. "I knew you would come for me."
Since she already knew his name he wanted to ask how. "How do you know my name?"
She rubbed her eyes then stared at him with questioning look.
"How I know your name? How could I not, Lucian? Are you asking because you really don't know?"
Lucian nodded. Hazel's expression turned serious and she used the little strength she had left to sit up. Lucian helped her while trying to hear her thoughts but he heard nothing. There was only silence. Why couldn't he hear her thoughts? Could it be that she wasn't a normal human because he could hear other people's thoughts clearly. Maybe he shouldn't trust her yet.
"Do you not know...who I am?" She asked carefully as if afraid to hear the answer.
"I don't."
"Do you really....not remember me?"
Lucian shook his head.
Hazel's shoulders fell in disappointment. "I thought you came for me. You came revenge right? That's why you look like this?"
Lucian sighed not wanting to tell her the truth.
"I don't understand. Then why did you kiss me?" She touched her lips probably recalling the memories. Lucian himself have not been able to forget the taste of her lips and he knew he could never forget.
"And save me?" She continued. If he hadn't saved her he wouldn't be in this situation but strangely he didn't regret saving her at all. He knew if he went back in time he would save her again.
"You still haven't answered how you know my name." Ignoring her questions.
"I know you name because you are my husband." She said calmly.
Lucian stood up hastily annoyed that she was still lying to him. "My wife is dead."
Now it was Hazel's time to stand up hastily. She looked as angry as he was."Who told you that? How could I be dead when I am standing right infront of you."
"Stop! You are not my wife."
"I am."
"I would not forget her."
"You did Lucian. You forgot me when I have been waiting for you here everyday enduring every torture that came my way just to see you once again." She almost yelled frustrated.
***
I was so angry and frustrated. Just a moment ago I had been so relieved and happy to find that Lucian was alive and that he admitted that it was him just find out later that didn't remember me or maybe he just didn't want to. Why?!
Why was he doing this to me? This was worse than all the tortures I went through put together.
"I have been thinking of you everyday, worrying, praying for you safety. I missed you everyday, don't tell me you didn't."
"Stop!" He yelled taking a step back then holding his head with both his hands as if he was in pain.
"I thought you were dead. Do you know what I went through believing that?" My eyes teared up again. Speaking of it opened up new wounds. "Lucian...do you really not remember me?" I asked again hoping everytime the answer would be different but he kept shaking his head and backing away from me. "Do you not remember telling me you loved me?"
"Please stop!" He backed away until he hit the wall behind him.
"Do you not remember holding me or kissing me?
He shook his head violently.
"Do you not remember sleeping next to me while holding me in your arms?"
"Stop!" He fell on his knees then fisted his hair. "Stop!" His voice trembled as if he was fighting himself.
"Lucian?" He didn't seem well. His body was shaking in a way that reminded me of when he had kissed me for the first time. "Are you alright?"
As I neared him he suddenly screamed then started to punch the ground.
"Stop!" I screamed terrified. Running to him I grabbed both his hands to stop him from hurting himself.
"Why are you doing this?" His hands were soaked in blood. Looking at his face he was pale and his skin glistened with sweat.
"I can't make it stop. Please...make it stop." He said grabbing his hair again. Was his head hurting?
"Lucian…" I was confused as what to do so I just wrapped my arms around him. As soon as our bodies made contact I saw a terrifying image.
It was Lucian. He was in a dark place, his body covered in wounds and blood. As more blood seeped from his wounds he seemed to die a slow painful death, but someone clearly wanted his death to be more painful. Suddenly some liquor was poured over him and I saw a glimpse of a match then everything went up in flames. An agonizing scream erupted from Lucians thro as his body burned in that dark place.
Oh God! Startled I pushed Lucian away breaking the contact between us. What was that? Did he die like that? I shuddered then looked at Lucian who was still trembling. Good Lord. What had Lucian done to deserve this?
"Oh Lucian…" I hugged him again instinctively but then the images came back. He was still in that dark, his skin and most of his flesh had burned away but he could heal. I was happy to see him alive but only for a short moment because seeing his progress of healing was more painful than seeing his death. During the night his flesh would heal but as soon as the sun went up he would burn anew and his wounds would open again. Many days he would go through the agony of healing then burning again and it would never seem to end.
Then I saw him trying to crawl out of the what seemed like a well but he had no strength so he would fall back again and wait for the day to come and for the sun to burn him once again.
My heart tightened inside my chest upon seeing these images and rage filled my chest.
"Oh Lucian…" I cried holding him tightly. "I wish I could make it stop, but it's over now. You are safe now." But he only kept trembling.
I grabbed his face. "Lucian look at me."
He shook his head. "I can't."
"You can. Look at me Lucian."
He slowly looked up and into my eyes. "You are here, with me. Let's leave this place Lucian. Let's forget about revenge and live happily together. I want nothing else."
I didn't want him to hurt anymore. I didn't want to lose him again. Even though I wanted to punish those who tortured him but his safety was more important to me.
He grabbed my wrists removing my hands from his face. "Why? Why would I leave with you?" He asked.
"Because...because...I love you Lucian, I love you so much. I never told you before and that's what I regretted the most. Now all I want is…"
"Stop. Please stop." The more I spoke the more he seemed to be hurting. I couldn't understand why but I didn't want to hurt him anymore.
Suddenly he stood up and hurried toward the door as if he was scared of me.
"Will you come back?" I asked.
"Eat the food and keep yourself warm." He said then left without looking back.
Even though he claimed to not know me he still cared. That would be enough for now. That he was alive would be enough for now.
But would he be alright? He seemed to be hurting very much and it wasn't just because I saw his memories but I could feel it. I could feel his pain and something else quiet couldn't understand.
Since I was starving and cold I decided to do as he said. I ate the food he brought then wrapped myself in the blankets to keep myself warm. The place had no windows so I had no clue what time it was but it felt like a whole day or maybe a whole night had passed already. I just wanted to see Lucian again, make sure he was safe. After seeing what had happened to him, all the torture I went through seemed nothing compared to his. All that pain must still be haunting him. He had already gone through enough pain in his life, I didn't want him to go through more pain. I had to convince him to leave this place with me before it was too late.
The question was how?
Suddenly I shivered even though I was wrapped in warm blankets. It wasn't cold but there was someone in the room.
"Hazel."
I looked up at the devil himself. "Lothaire, I have been waiting for you."