Reincarnated as a Phoenix

Chapter 157 – Wisdom Dungeon

<The ways of communicating within these places have always been one sided so I'll try to guide you children but hopefully, it shouldn't be needed>

Having just entered past the huge vault entrance and into the dungeon, we've now arrived in a... bedroom?

There's a single bed inside the place, a few wardrobes, nightstands and basically anything you could imagine in a fantasy setting for a bedroom. I'm failing to see the point of this dungeon other than it be for something perverted but the Goddess of wisdom wouldn't care for anything like that, right? Nah, this definitely isn't something dirty but why a bedroom of all places? This dungeon better not suck...

<My dungeon was always designed to be a test of knowledge regarding the unknown and willingness to spot things that seem out of place. I'll give you a little time to see if you can figure it out by yourselves before giving the answer>

'So, we need to find out how to progress ourselves in this dungeon? Sighhh...'

"Seriously? Can't she just give us the answer instead of having to do this shit? Does any of us even enjoy this sort of thing?"

Okay, one of the biggest things I hate, is escape rooms and puzzle-based video games. Just give me a waypoint and point me in the correct direction, don't make me have to use my brain! I'm exaggerating a tad but I have always found them absurdly irritating though, mostly down to boredom rather than my idiocy. No Ikarus, you stopped calling yourself stupid so less of that...

"I actually agree with orangey on this, we'd be better off inside that pervert school place again. What a waste of freaking time, escape rooms suck"

"Heh, settle down you two. It can't be that hard, right? Let's just have a quick look around"

'Eh, at least Petra is okay with it. Her happiness is good for stopping my moaning... Or starting it if we're talking about a different kind'

Anyways, all of us separate around the room and start to look for anything out of place. Charlotte, Nathan and Petra start to look behind furniture and things like that, Zeki and Ariza go to look inside of drawers and I, stand around like an oaf getting everything in sight.

If I were to compare it to a normal bedroom, the only thing strange about it would be the fact it seems awfully big for a room with only a single bed and there's a load of dust everywhere. People can have dirty bedrooms so I'm not that surprised about it.

No one else seems to be saying or finding anything so maybe I'm onto something? I doubt it a little.

"I mean, the only strange thing about this place is the size of it. I don't think that helps that much though, right?"

"Could that be the point, Ikarus-sama? If the size of this place is strange, then maybe that's what we need to look for. Something else that isn't the right size maybe?"

(Petra) "Think you and the priestess may be right Ikarus"

"You know Petra-sama, it's fine to call me and Nat by name"

You know, I've only just realized Petra doesn't call Charlotte and Nathan by name as well, I think it makes succubus-sama feel a little like Petra doesn't like her but that's really not the case anymore. Petra did say at first she didn't like her due to the empire ties and potentially Charlotte being gay for me but that was way in the past.

"Heh, fair point Charlotte, apologies for not realizing it sooner. Just became a habit I suppose"

"There's no need for apologies Petra-sama! I was just wondering if there's a reason or anything, but I'm happy that you're okay using it now!"

'Okay, I'm getting a little grumpy now...'

"So, ignoring you two best of friends, we need to look for something else out of size then, right? That's what I'm doing now anyways"

Okay, that came across as if I'm being a little snarky or jealous of Petra and Charlotte. Judging from the fact Petra smirked, she picked up on it as well. Ah, just screw it, I'm going back to searching.

Thankfully, the tease doesn't come around so all of us start looking for something else being the incorrect size.

"Uh, could it be something to do with that thing on the ceiling?"

Ariza points to the ceiling and there appears to be a small chandelier out of proportion, how is it none of us noticed that to begin with? I guess the room is quite high as well and it's not like you purposely look up when searching for something... Why am I getting the urge to swing from it though...

Regardless, that could hold the next clue so let's go have a closer look. The chandelier looks to be pretty fancy and made from crystal but seems pretty normal if you exclude the fact it's smaller than a lampshade.

"Heh, give me a boost Ikarus"

"Sure sure"

Giving her a lift up, I quickly find I'm unable to lift her high enough up so she decides to take a freaking seat on my shoulders! Why the hell didn't I just fly up there? Being ridden is one thing but not with her legs on my shoulders like this, it doesn't help the way she's facing also gives me flashbacks of some of the late night experiences we've had...

Looking up to her, she can't help but grin knowing the position she's currently sitting in. Everything could've been fine if she had decided to face the other way but no, Petra has to be like this!

"Heh, it's surprisingly comfortable here Ikarus, this seat is definitely better than your back"

This must get awkward looks for around and obviously my fluster cannot be contained despite it being hidden between Petra's legs. She really is completely unhinged at times.

"J-Just hurry it up already! This isn't the time for dirty thoughts Ikarus..."

I mutter that last bit under my breath but Petra definitely hears it from her grin getting wider. Eventually but still taking her sweet time, Petra finally grabs onto the chandelier and pulls down on it. Like a lever or switch, the slight tug on the light fixture causes something else to occur...

All of a sudden, a hidden doorway begins to open on the other side of the room and presumably, we've now gotten through the first stage of this place. That took longer than I thought it might.

And of course, I have to moan.

"Seriously? The answer to this is just pulling on the chandelier? You know how stupid that sounds?"

"Heh, stop moaning Ikarus or I won't be getting down from up here"

"Yeah yeah, just get off already! I need my eyes here Petra... you could stay if you moved the other way"

"Heh, where's the fun in that Ikarus? Was doing you a favour hiding your flustered face"

While I'm now forcibly getting Petra off my shoulders and questioning life on why this sort of thing I find enjoyable, everyone else starts to make their way into the next room while we quickly follow suit. I like how they basically just ignore us at this point, it's a guarantee we would've been even worse inside that last dungeon and the memories still linger from all around.

<Congratulations, you did that much quicker than I would've anticipated. As for the next room, this one is a test for realizing your limits and finding the correct solution for such a situation. I may have to guide you through this but please, still have a quick look around and see if you can figure it for yourselves>

Like the first room, this one is really similar to the first except the bedroom is more in proportion being a little smaller and the bed is now a double.

While everyone is searching around for another crap way to escape, all I want to do is sit down and have a bite to eat now. I'm bored, alright? There's a reason why Petra calls me chubby on occasion, eating when there's nothing else to do is great... For the record, this is something I only picked up as a phoenix. I would've been morbidly obese back on Earth if I lived this lifestyle, phoenix metabolism people...

Anyways, I go to sit down on the bed and instantly get called out by my lovely lovebird before getting any food out.

"Heh, going for a nap while we do all the work Ikarus?"

"Well... Carrying you took a load of strength out of me, definitely need a sleep after doing all that heavy lifting"

It immediately comes to me that what I just said could be interrupted another way and Petra picks up on it as well...

"Heh, are you calling me fat Ikarus?"

"No no, nothing like that! Chubby and cute are like the same thing and you're only cute, not chubby or fat at all! Erm... beautiful, amazing, epic, those words work perfectly and fat or chubby don't in the slightest!"

"Heh... You're so easy at times Ikarus"

That gets quite a further few awkward faces and frankly, I can't blame the rest of the party. I came very close to calling Petra fat and she had to mess me around about it. As if she would think I'd ever call her fat! I should've just doubled down and ignored that tease but I refuse to be nasty to her so the solution is just bullying Ikarus with teasing.

Anyways, I lie flat on the bed giving Petra a slight wink cause why the hell not? She returns a wink while still searching for any clues, I'll give them a hand in a second after I've scoffed down something.

Just as I'm about to get any piece of random food from storage, the doorway to the next room opens with no explanation.

'Huh, what? Why has it done that?'

All of a sudden, the party seem to think I'm responsible for opening the door. Wait, is that what Athena meant by realizing limits? Taking a rest was the solution?

"How did you know lying on the bed it would do that Ikarus-sama!?"

(Nathan) "Yeah Ikarus, how did you figure it out?"

"What secret are you now hiding orangey? Was that fat thing some sort of ruse for sis or something?"

"Uh huh, I'm a little confused as well Ikarus"

All four of the friends, non-lovers ask me that so how am I supposed to answer? Make some shit up about figuring out it as soon as I entered? Act like an evil genius? 

Before I have the chance to figure something out, Petra being the devil decides no Ikarus! You aren't allowed to have fun!

"Heh, she had no clue there, that was pure luck. Your face always gives you away Ikarus"

"Hey! Don't you be ratting me out Petra! Sometimes my genius cannot be comprehended by you mere mortals so I shall forbid the explanation"

[<Ikarus can really suck at saving situations at times>]

'Shut it you! Say to my face and see what happens!'

[<Does Ikarus wish for Aesa to say that in front of everyone? That can easily be arranged>]

'Sighhh, just forget it'

It's been way too long since Aesa chirped in with something like that, it was a hell of lot friendlier than the old 'Ikarus is stupid conversations' we used to have though, almost sounded like she was saying it jokingly.

Anyways, moving onto the next room and ignoring everyone, another bedroom presents us...

<Ah, you've already completed this one as well children? I may have designed to clear conditions to be a little more flexible than I first thought. Maybe the preparations keeping the place secure made me neglect the interior as well? Oh well, let's just move on>

'Heh, so this is what an unfinished dungeon feels like? No complaints if this gets done really quickly then'

I was also expecting some boring lecturing from the Goddess about how we should've went about things but by now, it seems like these heavily beings have as much of an idea about their own dungeons as us. So many interesting, annoying and unique dungeons completed and today, we come across one under construction. Athena should've hired some people wearing high vis vests around the place to not work as well. Get the union involved as well.

Like the previous two rooms, the next room is very similar except the colour scheme seems to be more focused around red, yellow and orange. The others were mostly just wooden furniture with shades of depressing grey around but this definitely seems more upbeat.

<This last room is more a battle of experience and wits rather than the first two. By that, it means you must have a true warrior's heart to complete such a challenging and...>

"Oh, for fuck's sake! Screw this shit, we're not doing another one of these places! I'll fucking burn everything down if I have to!"

Zeki, who had been keeping his intense annoyance under wraps finally explodes and decides enough is enough with these stupid bedroom escape rooms. Out of pure frustration, he starts to fire fireballs all around the place targeting every wall in a pitiful attempt of trying to do whatever it is he's doing. He could also be a little pissed because of two things constantly weighing him down, it's not like we're even close to the month of potion use being up yet.

It's odd how none of the furniture seems flammable and even when he's having a fit like a child, he still can focus his aim away from us which is good I suppose... Hang on...

<...Fruitless task that can test your resolv-... How in Olympus did you manage to complete it that quickly? That should've taken much longer!>

The Goddess actually sounds shocked as the final doorway opens, thankfully this next room looks different from this boring bedroom design.

"This place is just a pain in the ass, at least I'm not getting screwed over like that one in the cubes again"

"Heh, there's probably a more hidden meaning behind each one Zeki. The first could've been perception for example"

"Maybe the second and third could've been relaxation and strength Petra-sama? I guess Athena-sama did give it away for the most part"

"Fair point Charlotte, the Goddess basically did say the same exact thing"

Sighhh, sometimes I forget about these two and how they can discuss boring stuff like magic theory and whatever it is this is. It's funny how it only appears that those two are capable of such boring thoughts, us guys or ex guys have no care about such a thing. Ariza just prefers being in the background I suppose.

"Look, can you two discuss this another time? Can we just finish this place first?"

"Heh, you've been awfully grumpy with me speaking to Charlotte today. You're not jealous, right Ikarus?"

"Ikarus-sama is jealous of us!? Why would she be?"

Shaking my head and ignoring them both, I lead into the next and am quickly taken aback by how different this one is even if I already noticed it from the outside.

Entering the next room all together, this place is completely covered in head to toe with reflectionless obsidian and sitting directly in the centre of the small room is a pedestal with nothing on top of it.

<And now, we're onto the final room before the dungeon will dispense the token and the reward... Oh no, it looks like I may have made a slight misjudgement here. The bad part of this is that to receive the rewards, you must sacrifice something in return...>

'A sacrifice? Shit, I'm getting PTSD from that pervert's dungeon way back now...'

<...The good news is, the conditions on this are just as flexible as the others. Sacrifice something you consider a fair exchange for the rewards and it should work fine?>

Athena almost sounds a little unsure on that but oh well, we've come this far already.

"What on Earth would we consider as valuable as a dungeon token? Dungeons are pretty shitty after all"

"Heh... maybe something like a coin for the token Ikarus? We both like money after all"

Huh, Petra's idea kinda makes sense, might as well give it a try.

"What about for this dungeon's ability reward though? Maybe an ability exchange could work as well? Aesa?"

[<Ikarus has a valid theory, maybe it could work? Aesa can't predict everything>]

Anyways, while I'm pondering on what I could potentially give up in exchange for a new but unknown ability, Petra places a gold coin onto the alter and the coin quickly changes into one of the Underworld tokens we need. Two down, one more to go now.

"Well... I know what shit I'm happy to replace, let's give this thing a try"

Mr obnoxious decides to place his hand on the alter and absolutely nothing happens except Athena responding to his call.

<Ah, you understand it has to be something you value, correct? If you believe deep down the ability is useless, you'll get nothing in return>

"Oh, for fuck's sake! I knew Ria cursed me with this stupid thing!"

Heh, presumably, Zeki's just tried to get rid of that sex ability he obtained from sleeping with a dryad and combine that with everything else he's experiencing, he's now leaving the dungeon to go sulk.

"Uh... I'd rather not remove anything really"

"I'm the same as you Ariza-sama. All of my Lord's blessings would be disrespectful to remove, even if I can't use most of them right now"

No one wants to exchange anything then? It's just down to me and Petra now, it's not like Nathan can even use abilities.

"So, it's just down to us two? You willing to gamble Petra?"

"Heh, I'm good Ikarus"

"One of us has to try it, right? Urgh, let's see if I can figure something out"

Let's see, what abilities do I have that are good but I would be willing to let go? I could come up with a few like the ability to double my stats that is pointless when wearing enchanted clothing due to the stat limit, but that would be the same thing as Zeki just did.

I've also got so many kill all abilities but I feel like it could be risky getting rid of something like that so... hang on, that could work...

Now going up to the pedestal myself, I place down a hand and quickly Athena goes to speak to me. I'm pretty certain this is still a one-way line though.

<What would you like to exchange child?>

'Aesa, put down kallikantzaros killer please'

[<Confirmed, ability has been selected>]

Now, you're probably thinking what sort of ability is that Ikarus? You remember way back in that goblin dungeon and that lacklustre reward I got? No? That's because I thought it was shit at the time and never brought it back up.

You see, I despise goblins and that ability gives me an additional twenty-five percent damage against them. To others, that may seem like trash especially considering I haven't come across any since but I am not others! This ability is like the one of the best I've got! Those little green bastards need all the pain and misery they can get...

<Hmm, it's definitely acceptable...>

'Keep convincing yourself you don't want to give it up Ikarus...'

<...The exchange has happened, although I'm not sure what blessing you've been given in return>

Very quickly, Aesa chimes in to give me a confirmation message though.

[<Ability -redacted- has now been replaced with -goblin superiority-. New ability allows members of Ikarus's species to gain an additional 10% damage multiplier to enemies when in close proximity to her>]

'I get that in exchange for the other shit? Okay, I feel like I've cheated the Goddess there, how is that an equal exchange for a goblin modifier!?'

Sure, it basically is meaningless for me but anything to make the phoenix fam more powerful is acceptable. Kinda want to see if they notice it though.

"Yo, Ariza and Petra, can you two feel anything different or strange?"

"Uh, not sure what you mean Ikarus"

"No Ikarus, why?"

That's a little disappointing if they can't even feel the fact they're stronger. Oh well, maybe it only applies when needed? Or just isn't noticeable.

"Don't worry about it, let's get out of here then"

Just before we head off, Athena still has some words she's like to share but sounds a little depressed about saying said words.

<Thanks for completing this place children and hopefully the next dungeon is easy enough. I'm not sure on who owns that place but I've got the suspicion it could be half-brother Ares. If it is, you have my condolences...>

__________

Arriving back outside the cellar and dungeon, we're greeted to Zeki hurling abuse at something going down.

"How dare you motherfuckers try to ambush us..."