QT: Don't fall in love with the Male Lead

Chapter 198: Don't be happy early on

Xi Zirui is very confused. 

His head aches as if part of it is missing, but as he runs his fingers through his long, loose hair, and up into his scalp, he doesn't feel any wounds or injuries. His fingers come to a sudden stop when he feels two large fluffy hears on top of his head.

He looks down behind himself at the lively red tail twisting on itself like a snake.

He pulls at the fluffy ear but it doesn't come off, and it hurts.

He digs his fingers into the soft fur of his swishing tail, and pulls, and that hurts as well.

He twists his ten fingers into the long strands of his hair and pulls again, but besides a tingling scalp, nothing happens.

Xi Zirui has the faint impression that something is wrong, but since he has no memories, he doesn't know what.

Looking around the cramped woodshed he doesn't find anything that can give him a clue as to who he is and where he came from.

It's possible he has spent all his life in the woodshed but that doesn't seem likely.

A strong gust of wind howls through the night, and Xi Zirui startles, jumping up in fright and toppling a neat pile of wood.

There isn't even enough room on the woodshed to fit him. And from his calculations, Xi Zirui isn't all that big.

He wants to leave the woodshed and move around freely but the biting wind outside discourages him. 

Maybe he should wait out the night and leave in the morning.

He's trying to make himself comfortable on top of the toppled wood, when the crunch of snow underfoot sends him into high alert.

His tails shoots up around him, wrapping around his face and the knees pulled up to his chest as if trying to hide him from view.

An elderly woman wrapped in coarse animal skins and carrying a torch walks into the woodshed. Xi Zirui shrinks further into himself, but she still sees him.

"What's that?" She raises her torch higher, and the flames shine down over Xi Zirui. "Oh, little darling did you sneak in here to hide from the cold?"

Xi Zirui ignores the woman, lowering his neck.

The woman's fingers make contact with his ears as if she's petting a small animal, her fingers slide down into the fine strands of his hair and she recoils as if struck.

"A fox spirit?"

Xi Zirui raises his head reluctantly. 

He doesn't know if that's what he is. Maybe the woman can tell him.

Her sunken eyes meet his and some of the alarm melts off her wizened face. "You're just a child."

Xi Zirui supposes he is. He crawls down from the piles of wood, and approaches the woman, no longer scared since she hasn't done anything to hurt him.

The woman clicks her tongue and takes off one of the pelts from around her shoulders and wraps it around Xi Zirui.

"Let's go child," she says, and extends her free hand to him.

---

The woman takes Xi Zirui into her house, besides the woodshed. The house is small and squat, some of it insulated with animal pelts and warmed with a roaring fire pit in the center of the large main room.

She introduces herself as Tuya, and asks Xi Zirui for his name.

"Xi Zirui," he says, looking around Tuya's home, glad for the warmth.

"How old are you?"

Xi Zirui shrugs. That's another of those things he has no memory of.

Tuya gives him a long once over. "You look about ten to me, but who can tell with your kind. As far as I know you could be older than me."

Xi Zirui shrugs again.

"You aren't the talkative kind, are you?"

"I don't have much to say," Xi Zirui says. "I don't know anything."

"Don't you have parents? A family to return to?"

Xi Zirui shrugs again. "I don't remember."

Tuya takes a seat by the fire and motions Xi Zirui forward, who sits down at her feet. By the light of the fire, Tuya examines his head. "Someone must have hit you, that's why you forgot. Your kind aren't much loved, you know?"

Xi Zirui doesn't, but he says nothing.

Tuya runs her knotted fingers over Xi Zirui's silky ears. "Can you hide these? It would be safer."

"I don't know," Xi Zirui says, honestly.

Tuya pats his bony shoulder. "Try," she says, and gets up to her feet. "Are you hungry? You must be starving."

Right on queue Xi Zirui's stomach grumbles loudly and Tuya lets out a hearty laugh.

---

Over the next weeks and months, Xi Zirui learns a lot of things. 

He learns that he and Tuya have a lot in common, in her own words, "My people cast me out, and the people around here don't have much love for me either."

Xi Zirui asks her why, but her gaze grows distant and misty, and she changes the subject.

"My people must have cast me out too," Xi Zirui decides.

It's the only explanation that makes sense. 

"Maybe they're the ones who erased your memory," she says, nodding along as she cuts a slice of cured yak's cheese with her knife and gives it to Xi Zirui.

He makes a face at the bitter taste of the cheese but still eats it all. 

Tuya laughs at his expression. "You're small, but I reckon you'll make a good hunter, what do you say?"

Xi Zirui's large fluffy tail starts swishing furiously behind him, as eager as he feels.

Tuya loughs at him again, and points at his swinging tail. "You need to find a way to hide your ears and tail. I have to go to the village from time to time, and I don't want to leave you alone here like a sitting duck." Her expression grows dark. "Even if you look like a human boy it wouldn't be safe to leave you here alone. No, better to take you with me."

"I want to go," Xi Zirui says, jumping up to his feet and clinging to Tuya's hand. "Please granny, take me with you."

The old woman pats the top of his head fondly. "We can go hunting, but no going to the village until you can hide yourself."

Xi Zirui nods furiously, besides himself with excitement. Eager for the upcoming hunt, and at the prospect of going to the village and seeing other people.

Tuya often warns him about people and their intentions, but Xi Zirui's is at the age where he's more curious than wise.

---

In a flash, a year goes by, and it's winter again, always bitterly cold and snowy in this part of the world. Now that Xi Zirui has a warm house, and a warm cot to sleep in, he doesn't mind much. Tuya fashioned him some thick boots from deer hide, and now he can trample on the fresh snow as much as he wants.

He has learned how to hide his tail and ears, after much effort. 

Tuya made him meditate for at least an hour every day, and told him to focus on emptying his mind until he saw clearly what he needed to do to change his appearance.

And one day Xi Zirui could just do it, much to both their happiness.

He's still a little disappointed, that after all that work, his first trip to the village ended up being very underwhelming. It was just a settlement of medium size, dusty, noisy and occasionally smelly when cattle passed by.

None of the people were kind to Tuya, or Xi Zirui by association. "It's because I'm not from around here," she said at the time, when Xi Zirui shot her a confused look after the third dirty look from a passerby.

"I like you better than all of them," Xi Zirui stubbornly declared, which earned him a laugh.

Later when they got home, Tuya braided a small strand of his hair with the feathers of a falcon they had caught. 

"A little gift, for being a good boy," Tuya said, pinching Xi Zirui's cheek.

He's clearing the front of their house from snow, shaking his head to make his braid dance, when a group of people in long robes and heavy cloaks come out of the woods, looking like they're headed towards them.

Xi Zirui drops his broom where it is and runs inside.

"There's someone coming," he tells Tuya, pressing his hands down on his head, until he calms himself down enough to make them disappear into his hair. "What are they doing here? No one ever comes here."

Tuya pulls down a corner of the pelt covering the window and looks outside. "Cultivators."

She comes away form the window and kneels down in front of Xi Zirui gripping him by the shoulders. "No matter what, you can't let them know what you are. They'll kill you," her eyes widen in abject terror, "or worse."

Xi Zirui doesn't know what worse means, but he trusts Tuya. 

Scared out of his mind by the presence of all those unknown people wearing fancy clothes, Xi Zirui wraps his hand around Tuya's, holding on fast. 

"What's going to happen, granny?"

A rough knock shakes their door. Xi Zirui has the impression that their house, which he always considered so robust and strong, could crumble into a pile of splinters if the person on the other side knocks again.

"Granny, please let us in, there have been reports of a spirit fox in the region and we have been called to investigate."