Chapter 775 I Should Have
Chapter 775 I Should Have
The dinner went late into the evening, but eventually, it was time for each of them to leave. It started with Bell falling asleep in her chair and Galen quietly carrying her away. Next were Clara and Nessa, who had early assignments in the morning. Corrine, Axel, and Alice all left together to put the twins and Savannah to bed.
Myka and Peter stayed later, as Myka chatted with Caleb about all the different places he traveled in search of information on the ley lines.
As Ashleigh listened, she felt a strange calm settle over her. She wasn’t angry anymore; she had no right to be. She understood very well why they had decided not to tell her.
But as she listened, she began to understand how much effort Axel, Alice, Galen, and Myka had put into finding Caleb all these years.
She wasn’t sure if she wanted to laugh or cry.
“Don’t let him fool you,” Peter said quietly, sitting beside her.
Ashleigh turned to him with a questioning look.
“Myka,” Peter smiled, tilting his head toward his lover. “He says he was traveling the world investigating ancient myths to help Caleb. But I think he was just looking for an excuse to go on random adventures and see what new and crazy things he could hear and talk to.”
Peter’s tone was comforting and playful in direct opposition to the words he said. Ashleigh tilted her head as she looked at him.
“You don’t believe that,” she smiled.
Peter looked back at her and rolled his eyes.
“No,” he sighed. “But it would be easier to stay irritated at him if I did.”
Ashleigh chuckled, looking at Myka and Caleb laughing together.
“No, it wouldn’t.”
Peter snorted and took a deep breath.
“No… it wouldn’t,” Peter sighed. “Idiot.”
Ashleigh smiled at Peter’s way of expressing his love for Myka.
“I hope you can understand why they… why we all kept quiet about what Myka and Alice were doing,” Peter said softly.
Ashleigh lowered her gaze and swallowed. She took a deep breath and nodded.
“I can,” she whispered. “I don’t blame any of you.”
Peter nodded.
She swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to gather her courage.
“I am sorry, Peter,” Ashleigh said, looking up at him.
Peter furrowed his brows.
“I don’t think I ever said that to you,” she smiled sadly. “I should have… many times…”
“Ashleigh…”
“I never thought…” she interrupted him, needing to get the words out before her courage left her. “I never thought that anyone would get hurt. I know that doesn’t make what I did any better. I just… wanted you to know…”
Peter took a deep breath.
“I won’t deny that back then, I had a lot of not-so-nice things to say about you,” he began. “I even considered coming to Summer while you were recuperating and telling you all those not-so-nice things.”
Ashleigh lowered her eyes. It hurt to hear, but she couldn’t expect anything else.
In all these years, it had never occurred to her that she had not once apologized to Peter for the events of Moonguard.
She realized it when she heard his name among the guests for tonight’s welcome dinner for Caleb. They had spoken many times in the past five years, not how they used to, but they had spent some time together. And she had never apologized, never considered it.
She had no right to expect anything but his anger and disappointment.
“I’ll never say that what you did was okay or that it wasn’t avoidable,” he said softly. “But that was so long ago…”
Ashleigh lifted her eyes and turned to him.
Peter sighed and put his arm around her shoulder.
“I’m glad you apologized, late as it is,” Peter smiled. “But I forgave you a long time ago.”
Ashleigh closed her eyes, feeling the familiar sting of tears gathering.
“How?” she whispered.
“I didn’t have a choice,” Peter smiled.
Ashleigh furrowed her brows and looked up at him. He chuckled and gave her a bright smile.
“A few weeks after my family was all back home and almost fully healed, Stefan made us all sit down for an important conversation,” he said. “He invited Corrine, Axel, and Alice too.”
Peter chuckled again, and Ashleigh could tell he saw the memory in his mind.
“He very seriously and thoroughly explained to us all the exact events of Moonguard and how you had tried at every step to ensure the safety of Myka and the children. How you didn’t know that the creatures would be at the lake and had focused on keeping them away from where you thought the danger might exist.”
Peter paused to take a breath and then cleared his throat.
“At this point, Corrine,” Peter continued, smiling to himself, “tried to explain to Stefan how our choices can influence the lives of others, and that’s why we need to consider more than ourselves when we make those choices.”
Ashleigh nodded and again lowered her eyes.
“And Stefan told Corrine that he knew you made a bad choice; he disagreed with your decision to change the scout's report. But he didn’t blame you for his, Sadie’s, or Myka’s injuries. That was what he wanted to make sure everyone understood.”
Peter took a deep breath. He still remembered how shocked he felt at hearing this small child explain to the adults in the room that even though Ashleigh was responsible for changing the report and not telling them about the danger she thought was contained in the village. She was not to blame for everything that came after.
“You chose not to tell them about the danger in the village, but you kept them away from that place. You didn’t know about the lake. You couldn’t have.”
Ashleigh licked her lips, taking a slow breath.
“They still got hurt,” she whispered.
Peter nodded.
“But it was Sadie’s decision to run toward the lemonberry tree without hesitation and to run away from the others to distract the monster and make it focus on her,” he said softly. “It was Stefan’s decision to step in front of Sadie and push her out of the way so she wouldn’t be hurt again.”
“But—”
“Did you know that the only reason Sadie was so keen on finding that tree was to impress me?” Peter asked. “That she wanted to be able to bring one back to me.”
Peter paused with a sad smile.
“Because of the terrible history they shared and could work through together, she and Myka got close much faster. She was confident that he really did want to be her dad from the start. But with me,” Peter shrugged and sighed. “She didn’t know how I felt.”
Peter took a deep breath.
“She thought that if she could show me that she had read my mother’s journal and if she could bring a piece of it back to me, then I might be able to accept her as a part of my family.”
Peter sighed and shook his head.
“When she told me that…” he paused, swallowing and looking away. “It broke my heart.”