Losing My Religion

Part 3, Chapter 1

Amber

Suddenly, the portal vanished, and I was left in a stark silence with Sophia. The portal hadn’t made any noise necessarily, but the absence of its presence made the room less loud nonetheless.

Sophia spoke first, her eyes not leaving the place where Lily and my sister had vanished, “So, what now?”

“Well, I need to go report to my mother that the mission was successful. From there… We can just brainstorm what to do without needing to worry about anything coming up,” I shrugged, “Honestly, we have the more chill side of the plan – we don’t have to run around an alternate dimension or whatever.”

She still hadn’t blinked. “And how am I supposed to help you if something goes wrong while you’re talking to your mother?”

“Nothing will go wrong,” I shook my head, “besides, no offense, but you’re not a witch. I don’t think you’d be helpful if it came to combat”

Sophia closed her eyes and opened them after a moment, “Hmm,” She pulled her phone out, fiddling with it before handing it to me, a new contact open for me to fill my number into. “In case something goes wrong,” she clarified.

I filled in my phone number, knowing that it would be convenient for planning and logistics. However, even in the event of an emergency, I wouldn’t call her – I didn’t want to put her in danger.

She took her phone back, “So what's the deal with the envelope?” 

I looked at the paper in question, a sealed white rectangular envelope with messy writing on the front. I read it aloud, “To Amber and Sophia: open this if you feel like you need my guidance on an important matter. Love, Lily.” I shrugged, “Dunno.”

Sophia’s eyes narrowed, “Succubi can’t predict the future, right?”

I shook my head and turned the letter over in my hand, inspecting it from every angle. “I don’t think so…”

“Weird. I guess we can worry about that later, I doubt she meant for us to open it now, given she could have just told us whatever it was.”

“Yea, I suppose so.” 

“Well, good luck with your meeting, and don’t do anything dangerous.” Sophia hugged me, fulfilling her earlier promise from when we were on the phone. It was a loose hug, more the kind between distant family members than between friends.

All I have to do is convince my mother I killed Lily, and everything will be okay.

—

When I arrived at the coven, a servant was already waiting to tell me my mother was ready to see me, despite the fact that I hadn’t called ahead. 

No big deal, I’m sure she was just excited to hear about the news of my success, right?

My socks swished against the wood floors of the halls and I found myself wishing I was wearing shoes. There was something about the click clack of formal footwear that made me feel powerful, made me feel like an adult. It was hard to feel like an adult in front of my mother.

The door to her office didn’t squeak – her cleaners made sure of that – and despite how heavy it was, it swung open with little effort. Shutting it was a bit harder, requiring me to remind myself I would be okay trapped inside.

Again she sat at her desk, looking both like she was busy with something else and waiting for me at the same time. She finally looked up from her stack of papers when I sat down across from her, but she remained silent, prompting me to begin with a subtle gesture of her face.

“My mission is complete,” I stated.

“Amber, do you think I’m old enough to have dementia?” Her voice was measured, calm, and gave nothing away about where she was going with this.

“No…” I lied. 

“Then why are you telling me such a blatant lie?” She raised one eyebrow, the rest of the muscles on her face hardly moving, but still somehow suggesting a deepening frown.

I remained calm, honing my focus on lying. “My report of success is not false, mother. The demon is dealt with.”

“Do you think I’m that dim?” she shook her head, “No, of course you do, why else would you persist on this lie?” 

Before I could respond, she continued, straightening in her chair. Despite the fact that I was the taller one, she towered over me due to the difference in our seats. “The daughter I know is weak and sentimental. Should I ask her to take a life, a younger version of her would protest, and an older version of her would do it with tears in her eyes. Am I to believe your character has suddenly completely changed? Maybe you are the demon, trying to infiltrate my coven.” The last sentence was said with the same flippant speculation as the rest, no sign she really believed it, but it put a bead of sweat forming on my forehead nonetheless.

“Demons aren’t life in the same way plants and animals are,” I waved my hand to the side flipping my palm up, “they’re more like the life of viruses and parasites. I don’t cry for a removed tapeworm, nor do I cry for a slain succubus.” If I had the space and time for self-reflection, I would certainly feel sick at what I was saying. Thankfully, I did not; my head was completely full of panic and lies, completing one conversational puzzle after the next.

My mother sat back, crossing her arms. “Maybe that would be believable, maybe I could believe you were the perfect daughter… if you had asked for the materials to cast demon radar I left out.”

Shit, I didn’t bother to check the spells she gave me.

I cut off the resounding silence of her winning the argument while it was still forming, “I didn’t need radar because I already knew where the demon was – you remember my roommate, right?”

She stared forward, not acknowledging my question, “Is that so.” she stated, “Tell me about the kill, let’s do some analysis on your methods.”

I shrugged. This part I’d prepared for; I was almost in the clear. “It was pretty easy, since she trusted me. My project of enchanting that huge crystal finally paid off – I just whipped up a quick trap with it, and the rest was trivial.”

Her eyebrows both raised and she let out a slight grin, her biggest change in expression so far, “You managed to enchant that thing?”

“Yes!” I smirked, letting myself feel like a good daughter for a moment, trying to ignore the context surrounding the praise.

“Well, color me impressed. You’ve done well, my apprentice. You can look forward to being officially named my successor and leading the coven after my passing…” Her eyes glazed over for a moment before refocusing, “You’re dismissed.”

When I stood and bowed, I didn’t let myself relax. Nor did I when I walked out into the hall, well out of earshot of the door. Even on the train back to my dorm, I sat, muscles tense and eyes wide, reeling from the experience. Finally, when I got home and saw Sophia’s relieved face, I let out a sigh.

I miss Lily…

Lily

Hell was… not what I expected. 

At this point, only the strangest of people could believe my well-ingrained expectations of fire and brimstone would be proven correct. Even a fervent follower of the bible would struggle to believe I, a twenty-year-old girl, would have the means to hop over to Biblical Hell.

Still, it was somehow surprising, in spite of expecting my preconceptions to be subverted.

Katie and I stood in silence as we spun around, taking in the sunny vista. 

A shorthand explanation for what I saw was ‘Mars with two moons and a bunch of plants’, but even that was vastly underselling it.

In one direction there were massive trees with somewhat thin yellowish trunks, the spires stretching well past what I thought would be possible. A bird flew in that direction, one the size of the biggest eagles on earth, and yet lacking the same predatory fierceness.

In another was a vast rocky desert, the surface the same reddish orange I associated with Earth’s closest neighbor. Katie and I stood on one of those craggy boulders at the edge of the forest, giving us our vantage point and letting my nose take in the dry desert air. It was unlike the polluted air around my hometown, but it was a bit sulfury, something that would take time to get used to.

The last direction was somehow the most striking, causing me to go from mouth hung open to mouth wide open. There were buildings, most a couple of stories tall, the yellowish wood of the surrounding trees evidenced in the city’s amalgamation of mustard.

I finally spoke, both Katie and I staring at the city. “Something something Kansas…”

Katie stifled a laugh next to me. “This is insane. There’s two moons,” she pointed incredulously at the pale orbs in the sky.

I shrugged, “At least two moons, but that’s not that weird, plenty of planets in our solar system have more than one moon.”

She turned to face me fully with her eyes wide, “Yea, they have more moons, on other planets!”

I spun around once more, surprise registering anew. Oh, shit.

“We’re aliens!”

—

We quickly set off towards the city, not wanting to find out the hard way how short the days were or how cold the nights were. Our conversation continued, staying on frivolous topics for now.

Katie scoffed, “We’re not aliens!”

“Demons are from another planet, you said it yourself. Different planet, therefore alien.”

She rolled her eyes, batting a branch out of her way. Thankfully the trees and bushes were sparse between where we’d arrived and the city, and while there was no path, we had plenty of room to maneuver without cutting foliage away. 

“Sure, maybe technically it applies, but I’m talking about genre conventions. You can’t just throw aliens in with vampires, witches and werewolves and call it a day – there are rules.”

“This is real life! We don’t get to make the rules.”

She continued, undeterred, “Besides, we can just frame it as beings from another dimension – we don’t know where the hell we are,” she waved an arm across the sky, moving past the two pale orbs and the one bright one, “And ‘beings from another dimension’ is more fey than alien.”

“That doesn’t make any sense – are fey even real?”

“No, of course not,” she sent me a puzzled frown, confused why I would care.

I rubbed at my temples, trying to stifle the incoming headache. I wish Amber was here… Hell, Sophia would probably be thrilled to have a nonsensical conversation about the intricacies of supernatural taxonomy with Katie. It’s just me that’s useless…

“Fine, we’re fey.”

“No, we’re demons, duh.”

Godammit. “Maybe it’s Amber and them that are aliens to us…” I said jokingly.

“Damn, that’s a good point…” Her hand came up to her chin, stroking it in thought.

I stared at her suspiciously.

Katie returned my look with a shit-eating grin.

I had to stifle a smile; despite how much she annoyed me, she was cute and it was nice to have a little sister, another part of my weird found family.

Katie batted another branch away from her face, the leaf at the end bigger than her head. “Ugh, are we there yet?” 

I craned my neck, trying to see past the trees, but there was nothing. “We’re 10% of the way there at most.”

She sighed dramatically, continuing to march. “What are we even doing here?”

“What do you mean, didn’t we go over that over and over back on Earth?” It was strange, saying that so casually.

“Yea, I get that my sister wants to hide us away while she does everything, and that’s cool, whatever. But what are we going to do here? Like are we just looking for food and shelter? Are we trying to make demon friends? Request visas? Investigate magic?”

My mind spun; despite all of the thinking I’d done before coming, I’d still somehow missed how we’d spend our time here. “What do you want to do?”

She rolled her eyes, “I don’t know… I guess it would be cool to talk to some demons, but we don’t know anyone… Maybe if we can get access to a library, I can do some useful research.”

I nodded, “Okay, library, that seems like a good goal.”

“And you?”

I grimaced, “I don’t know… I would want to look for people who knew my Mom, but I don’t really have anything to go on besides her first name and that I kind of look like her…”

“Maybe we can look her up in some kind of public records?” 

“Yea…” Demonic public records… What is my life?

“Don’t worry, we’re almost there!”

I laughed, temporarily reinvigorated. Only another couple of hours of walking to go…

—

By the time we arrived at the edge of civilization, the sun was no longer visible, hidden behind the terrain but still lighting our way with the last dregs of day. We were exhausted, not used to hiking for longer than it took to get from the train station to our destination, and not used to the rough terrain and foliage at all.

We’d both transformed at some point because it was more energy efficient to be in our true forms, both opting to use our normal human clothes for now, turning away from each other to get dressed. 

If I hadn’t just opened a portal to another world with my magic – or another dimension if Katie was to be believed – I’d have manifested clothes, but the portal had taken a lot out of me, and I wouldn’t have my partners to refuel any time soon.

As we got closer, the foliage became sparser and sparser, opening up into plains, most of the rolling hills, white grass, and red soil obscured by the buildings. The buildings themselves were weirdly normal, as if I was just in a foreign country, rather than another planet. There were recognizable houses and apartments on either side of a brick path, with short planters and trimmed trees lining the path. The architecture was imposing and bold, using the dark yellow wood to contrast against the landscape and harshly sloped roofs that jutted out far from the buildings’ walls.

On the outer edge of the city there were still the occasional wild plants and empty lots with no buildings, but as the path grew more solid, and the buildings more dense, the plant life was relegated to carefully curated planters, although still rather abundant compared to where I was from.

Katie and I strolled side-by-side in silence, heads rarely facing where we were going. The first person we saw was a huge man with deep red skin, almost maroon, and long, sharp horns curling out of his head. He waved at us, but didn’t pay us much attention otherwise, strolling along. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, clothed only in sandals and scruffy pants, but it worked with his body, creating an aesthetic of a handsome physical laborer rather than someone unkempt. I might’ve stared at his abs for a few moments longer than was polite.

People became more common the further into the city we got, but nearly every one of them was as friendly as the first, waving and smiling at us. Just when we started to see the first businesses and could start to catch the scent of grilling vegetables on the wind, someone finally approached us.

She was a woman – probably? I still didn’t understand demonic gender too well. She was feminine, skin a deep blue with light pink eyes and hair that contrasted heavily. Despite not having significant wrinkles on her face, like I would expect on a human, she gave off the impression of being older – the demonic equivalent of middle-aged. “Hey, you two, are you tourists?”

I glanced at Katie, but she just shrugged. “Of a sort… Why?”

Her head tilted slightly, “I was wondering if you needed directions, and I’d be happy to show you around a bit, in exchange for stories about where you’re from, It’s been a while since I was outside of Seriza.”

Katie and I stared, overwhelmed with the new information. 

“Oh, how rude, I never introduced myself, I’m Kelith!” She shot out her hand.

I remained still, thinking over the realization that Demonic – the language we’d been speaking – had many first-person pronouns that were gendered in subtly different ways I hardly understood, while it had only vaguely gendered third-person pronouns. And then there was the revelation that her nails were sky blue, but didn’t appear to be painted. It was a lot.

Katie took over, shaking her hand. “I’m Katie, and this is my older sister, Lily.”

I stifled the warm feeling bubbling up from her saying that so easily, wanting to deal with the strange place we were in before worrying about our dynamic.

If Kelith was surprised at how different we looked, despite being sisters, she didn’t show it. “Nice to meet you! So, how does that tour sound?”

“I’m not sure about a tour but we would love directions to the library.” Despite how friendly she seemed, I was wary of sharing too much with a stranger, and if we let her show us around, it was only a matter of time until she realized how out-of-place we were.

“Oh, okay,” her upbeat voice turned disappointed for a moment before bouncing back, “The nearest library is down this street, about five hundred meters. You can’t miss it, it’s the biggest building around.” She walked away with a wave, heading back towards the outskirts of the city, “Well, you enjoy yourselves, and if you see me again, feel free to come over and chat!” 

Katie and I continued on our journey, happy to have made progress towards our goals.

Wait, they have meters in Hell? A meter is about the same as a yard, so five hundred is like five football fields, right?

“Do you think I was being too cautious there?”

Katie hummed, thinking. “It’s hard to say – we don’t know anything about demon culture,” she paused for a moment, “I think you made a reasonable choice, even if it was on the cautious end of the spectrum.”

I somehow forgot during all this time spent with her that Katie is Amber’s apprentice. Her talking like that sure reminded me, although her asking to go to the library should’ve clued me in too.

We walked in silence for a few minutes, passing by more people that waved at us, and when the sun started to get close to disappearing, the question came up of whether to sleep before going to the library.

“How badly do you need sleep? Do you have the energy to go without?” 

Katie sighed, “You probably have more than me… I can go without, but I’d prefer not to,” she looked down, shy. “Honestly, it would help if you tried to give me more energy.”

I examined her expression, making sure she wasn’t going anywhere with her request.

She rolled her eyes at my look, “No, I’m not trying to hit on you…”

“Sorry, I was just…” Embarrassment bubbled up in me. She just called me her older sister and I’m doubting her for no reason.

Katie groaned, “It’s so frustrating.”

“What is?”

“It’s like – you’re insanely hot, right? Like Amber has two incredibly attractive girlfriends…”

“I guess? And Sophia isn’t her girlfriend.”

She ignored me, “But to me, you’re both off limits – because of our age difference and because you’re kinda like my sister-in-law, even if you aren’t married or whatever.”

“Yea…” I still didn’t see where she was going with this.

“It’s just frustrating that she has so much, but doesn’t even need it like I do…” Despite her saying she was frustrated, her tone was dejected.

Oh.

“Don’t worry, the three of us can shower you with sisterly affection so you don’t go hungry anymore,” my smile started to drop as I realized that might not be the best thing to say.

“Ugh,” Katie shook her head, “That just makes me feel like you’re treating me like a little kid. Like,” she huffed a laugh, “The woman I have a bit of a crush on just babies me because she thinks I’m too young to know what sex is.”

“Katie…”

“No, I know it’s not logical to feel that way, it’s just…” she groaned again, “Forget it.”

I sighed, “Let me know if there’s something I can do to help. I won’t ever return your feelings, but I still want you to be happy, and I don’t want you to think I’m treating you like a child.”

She grumbled under her breath, but I couldn’t hear if it was an ‘okay’ or a ‘thanks’. 

Being an older sister is hard…