I am Succubus!

90 – A Sister Who Loves Too Much

In a blink of an eye a whole week had gone by with nothing to show for. I couldn't figure a single thing out about my predicament. My perception of time felt warped, like it was dictated by something else, lulling me into complacency.

Today was Saturday, the start of my weekend. If I hadn't gone insane yet, I was pretty sure the week would restart the moment Saturday ended. When Sunday came, we would rewind back to last Sunday. Kana would return to being a boy, but then be transformed into a girl that morning, the sweet moment I had with Mio that morning she wouldn't remember anymore.

Last night, Kana and I went out to a convenience store together. Now I'd awoken to Mio and Kana in bed with me, just as it happened before. I wasn't living anymore. Just going through the motions of days that I'd already lived, rewinding and playing forward like a VHS tape.

Would I also forget? I didn't want to. I wanted to keep these precious memories.

"Speaking of memories…" 

Hatsumi must be downstairs agonizing over the interview right now. I should go check on her. Just the simple act of making breakfast for her was enough to bring a smile.

However, when I entered the kitchen, Hatsumi wasn't despondent like I remembered. She was making french toast and humming to herself like she'd won the lottery. I was at a loss of what to do and how to act.

"Morning, Saeko! Breakfast will be ready soon," Hatsumi said.

The sound of toast sizzling in the frying pan and smell of cinnamon and butter created an atmosphere of calm that washed away my worries. Hatsumi stacked four toasts on top of each other, gleaming like gold and served with a large helping of syrup. Before it was handed to me, she leaned down and drew our lips together.

We stayed like that for such a long time that it threw my senses for a ride. It felt so much like we had become a married couple. I'd awakened and came downstairs to my wife making breakfast, and she sweetened the meal with a show of affection first.

"If you want seconds, let me know." She winked, causing my heart to skip a beat.

It didn't matter if she meant the french toast or a kiss. I'd be fine with either. She returned to the stove to prepare more for Kana, Mio, Selene, and herself.

Something about this scene was off. It should be me cooking. Hatsumi was the one at the table. How did we come change?

"Did you hear back about the interview?" I asked casually while eating the incredibly fluffy french toast.

Her shoulders twitched. An odd reaction to an otherwise simple question about work life.

"They went with someone else who was more qualified. I'm not too worried, and you shouldn't be either. Your big sis will find another job in no time!" she exclaimed.

Although I was happy for her, this definitely did not happen before. She was more optimistic this time around. Not even a peep about our parents' hand in setting up the interview.

Could it be…?

"Hatsumi," I began. She turned around to face me. "Have you noticed we've been reliving the same week?"

My sister made a difficult to read expression in which her brows lowered and eyes cast to the ceiling. It looked forced. Whether she was taking my question seriously with a hint of uncertainty, or aware and was trying to dodge it, I couldn't tell.

"I don't think so? That's an odd question to ask. Are you feeling well?" she asked, the expression now turning to worry.

Another dead end. 

A wave of dizziness struck me as I tried to gather my thoughts. Nothing was making sense anymore. I almost wanted to resign myself to this fate and not deal with it anymore.

Hatsumi came by and pressed our foreheads together. Her eyes went wide. The strength in my body was leaving me, and my head began to spin.

"Saeko, you're burning up! Let's get you to your room so you can sleep it off," she said.

Kana and Mio were up there naked. If Hatsumi saw that, she might freak out. Unfortunately, I had no strength to resist or protest.

At some point, I passed out.

"Nnnh... "

How long had I been asleep? It was dark, and I was alone in my room.

The door was left slightly ajar, and light from the hallway bled in. It might be my imagination, but I was pretty sure someone was still awake downstairs. Who was it? Light footfalls ascended the stairs and approached my room.

I saw the clock next.

Saturday, 11:59 PM.

My memories from this past week came flooding back. Old memories from the preceding week, new memories from the current one… They amalgamated in such a way that I forgot in which order the events happened. Everything that I didn't want to forget replayed vividly in my head, like my afternoon with Mio and the passionate night I spent with Hatsumi.

I won't forget. I won't forget. I won't forget! I told myself, but it wasn't enough. I hoped it was enough.

Whoever it was opened the door, but the hallway light cast a dark silhouette I couldn't make out. I knew only that she was a woman… and she carried the Blade of the First Temptress.

"No! Not yet—!" I cried.

But time waited for no one.

11:59 PM ⇒ 12:00 AM.

***

"No!" I shot awake. The bedsheets fell away from my body. Kana and Mio were by my side, just as naked as I was.

Trying to recall the events of last night was met with an obscuration in my mind. There was more to remember, I was sure of it. Yet all I could recall was having a threesome with Kana and Mio.

This frustration was very real, but why did I feel this way?

"Ugh… Did I get hit by a truck…? My dick feels good, but my head wants to explode." Kana groaned.

I grabbed Mio and shook her awake. "Do you remember what I said to you later today in the living room?"

"Nn… Later today, what? Five more minutes, please… Or how about you eat me out real quick?" Mio asked groggily.

She clearly had no recollection.

I climbed out of bed, changed into some clothes, and left my room. I was acting on habit. Certain memories were familiar, like a powerful sense of deja vu constantly defibrillating and jolting my thoughts. 

"Come on… think… think!" I clutched my head just outside of the room. Bits and pieces came through. Me and Mio on the couch. Hatsumi in my room in lingerie. Someone… a woman at my door, holding the Blade.

I materialized the sword in my hand. It pulsed with energy, stored from months of having sex with a number of people. Whoever that person was could use the Blade of the First Temptress. Did Beatrice come back to haunt me? No, that couldn't be it.

I vanished it from sight, then hobbled downstairs in search of answers.

Mio had forgotten. I could barely recall it myself. That memory might as well not have ever happened. Even though Mio opened herself up to me. Even though I promised not to forget… I couldn't even remind her.

Hatsumi should be downstairs… doing what? It felt like I should know this.

My sister was at the dinner table in her bathrobe, sipping coffee. She brightened up when she saw, but frowned as I got closer. I collapsed into her arms. Tears welled at the corner of my eyes. I took a deep breath of her scent, hoping it would jog my memories.

"What's wrong? Did you not get any sleep last night?" Hatsumi asked.

"I did… but I'm so tired," I answered, the comfort of her embrace lulled me into a peaceful state.

"It's only Sunday. Why don't you sleep for a little longer? I'll have some green tea mochi ready when you're up!" she said, but my lack of a reaction gave her pause. For once, my sister's attempt at cheering me up failed. A gaping chasm opened within my chest, swallowing up what little hope I had of freeing myself.

If this world was going to reset in a week again anyway, and the people around me would forget the memories I'd made with them, what's the point?

"I think I'm stuck," I began, clutching Hatsumi with trembling hands. "I hate it. I'm forgetting things I don't want to forget. They're at the back of my mind, but I can't recall them. It hurts because I like those memories with you, Mio, Kana… everyone. No one seems to remember, and I… I'm scared."

A gentle hand stroked the back of my head. Hatsumi held me close. She was surprised by my outburst.

"You aren't happy?" she asked reluctantly.

I shook my head in her chest.

"But I thought— Never mind." She swallowed the rest of her words and sighed.

Hatsumi grabbed a tissue from the counter to wipe my tears. She then led me to the couch, sat down, and patted her lap until I humored her by laying down on it.

"You couldn't possibly remember this, but as a baby you used to cry so much. Mom and Dad hated it. They hired a nanny for a while and she hated it. I might have hated it, too. Eventually, I started looking forward to cradling you in my arms. When the tears stopped and wailing turned into cute little Saeko noises, they became my lullaby and we fell asleep together like that."

As she recounted the embarrassing story of when I was younger, a hand fell over my eyes. Hatsumi's hand. The brightly lit living room painted by golden streaks of morning sunlight became like a peaceful night under her palm. Without much effort at all, the frustration began to leave me. The worries I had, an afterthought.

There was a shift in movement, and I felt my sister's lips on mine. They were moistened and salty, a taste of a vulnerable side that even now she tried to hide. I couldn't see because of the position I was in and the hand over my eyes. Instead, I reached up to where I thought the corner of her eyes were to wipe a tear away, but she pressed my hand against her cheek.

I knew then she wept with guilt.

"You… did this, didn't you?" I asked my sister as the pieces fell into place. She acted differently from the start. The kiss, breakfast, curry, and how much differently she took the interview's results.

Drowsiness chipped away at my consciousness. An inkling within me was afraid that if I fell asleep, I wouldn't see my sister again. She squeezed my hand on her cheek as though to reassure me while our lips remained connected. I tried so hard to stay awake. In the end, my eyes became too heavy to keep open.

It actually was night when I next awoke. I was still in the living room, laying on the couch. Hatsumi was nowhere to be seen. The entire day gone in an instant.

Clanking plates alerted my attention to the kitchen, but it wasn't my sister. Mio was there, fixing herself something to eat. Around this time, we would have been eating dinner together. Since Hatsumi wasn't here, that changed.

A mental prick was followed by a flood of memories. Like a tsunami they crashed, reverberating across my mind in ripples. 

That Saturday night, the person who came into my room— It was Hatsumi.

It was Hatsumi this entire time. She was the only other person in this world who had wielded the Blade of the First Temptress.

"Have you seen Hatsumi?" I asked Mio.

"Nope. Man, you were passed out like a rock. Way to lose a whole day," she remarked, stuffing her face with some green tea mochi.

Mochi.

Hatsumi said she was going to make me some.

I raced into the kitchen to grab one. The morsel wasn't completely cold, it couldn't have been left in the fridge for long. Hatsumi must have left recently.

"Whoa there, tiger. There's enough in the fridge for all of us and then some." Mio opened the fridge to see a whole two plates' worth of them.

"Come on. We have to find Hatsumi before it's too late!" 

We went upstairs to Selene's room where she was head-deep in faculty paperwork. She turned around, astonished by our sudden intrusion.

"Please, tell me you've seen Hatsumi?" I pleaded.

"I'm not sure. The last I saw of her she was heading in the direction of school. I'm not sure what business she has there as an alumni. Perhaps something to discuss with the faculty?" she wondered aloud.

Mio and I nodded. We took off in the direction of school, flying as fast as our wings could carry us. Faster than I'd ever flown before that Mio trailed behind.

"What's gotten you hopped up on energy?" Mio shouted from behind me.

"I don't have time to explain. Just trust me on this, okay?" I answered.

She caught up to me and took my hand. "Don't need to tell me twice then. You know I always got your back."

When we finally reached the school, a figure stood at the edge of the roof, in front of the steel fencing installed to keep people from thinking about a poor choice. That person was none other than Hatsumi, who was one step away from falling off.

"Is… Is she thinking about jumping?" Mio asked the one possibility I dreaded to consider.

"Hatsumi! It's pointless. You know we can fly to catch you!" I shouted.

"You need to let me go. It has to be this way," she replied, staring back at me with a distant gaze.

"It was you after all. You're still able to use the sword and command it, so you put us all in the time loop. Why?" I asked her.

Selene had told me 'not a single succubus'. But if there were two greater succubus, one of which still was and the other had her lingering powers then it wouldn't be so far-fetched. We wished for this to happen. 

Hatsumi bit her lip. Every word we exchanged chipped away at her resolve to end her life. I had to keep her talking.

"Because I wanted us to be together forever. This happened because I was selfish. I was so happy when my wish was granted. I could spend more time with you and not think about doing well in school or getting a job. Laying in bed with you and cooking for you is all the happiness I needed. So you see, no matter how much you want to return, it won't happen unless I feel the same. It won't… because I, more than anything, don't want this to end. That's why I have to die to set you all free." She ended her speech unhinging one hand from the fence's steel links.

Only one hand remained to keep her from falling.

A world without my sister? Did I want that? If she died, I could go back to having a future with Kana and Mio. I could go back to my friends at school, finish my last year at Tsukiji and move onto college, and live out the rest of my life.

That… would be a life without Hatsumi. My one and only big sister who watched out for me, cared and raised me. Who fought our parents to, at the very least, let me live as I wished at the cost of her own freedom.

Could I live the rest of my life without her?

"Did you two know our city is named Tsukiji because of how beautiful the full moon is?" Hatsumi pointed behind me and Mio with her free hand.

A moon larger than I'd ever seen before sat above the Osaka and Wakayama Bays. The beauty of it was breathtaking, almost magical. Mio and I couldn't look away, until the sound of the chain link fence shuddered its metallic cry.

Hatsumi fell, smiling. A tear glistening from the moonlight detached from her cheek. She mouthed out the words, I love you.

My body simply refused to move, yet my heart and mind screamed louder than it ever could in that moment.

No. No. No. No. No.

I didn't want to wake up in the morning without Hatsumi waiting for me in the kitchen and living room. I didn't want to come home from school without her welcoming me back. I didn't want to live without that warm and gentle smile she always gave when we locked eyes.

Whatever spell captured me in place I managed to shatter by sheer force of will. I dove for my sister and caught her into my arms. The momentum from how fast I flew sent us crashing into the ground and rolling. Once we came to a stop, my arms were full of scratches and bleeding. Hatsumi gaped in shock, but thank goodness she was perfectly fine.

My relief was quickly overwhelmed by anger— hot anger that she dared consider leaving me and let spill out in a scathing rebuke.

"Screw that! I don't want to go back without you. If you want what's best for me, then let me be selfish. I'm not going to let you kill yourself… Because I love you, too!" I cried.

She began to choke up. Her conviction to let herself go wavered. Tears rolled down her cheeks and all she could do was apologize.

Mio flew down, looking ashamed of herself for not seeing through the mesmerizing ruse. She, too, was relieved to see Hatsumi safe and joined in the embrace to hold each other. I held them tight, fearful that I might lose them if I let go. Hatsumi cried so hard her echoes in the empty school courtyard.

"You can't just leave us like that. I finally have someone I can call my sister. Don't let me lose a second one," Mio said, grinning with tears also in her eyes but choking up all the same.

"I'm sorry, you two. I'm sorry…" she repeated over and over again.