Chapter 224: The Self
Chapter 224
[Shen Yue], from the moment I fled that place with you, I was destined to die.
Do you want to die with me? Haha, I'm very happy. After you've appreciated my masterpiece, come find me.
I allow you to regret it. However, Shen Yue, if one day you regret it and go back to the past, you must never come looking for me, and certainly never try to change me. Otherwise, my past self will kill you without hesitation. Remember that.
Do you know, a different choice can lead to a completely different ending. If you weren't the same as me, if I didn't pity you anymore, then the me in your memories would no longer be the real me.
Don't understand? That's okay. You just need to know that memories are not the soul, that's enough.
Never confuse memories with reality.
Shen Yue didn't know why she suddenly remembered what Shen Hui in her memories had said to her.
In fact, ever since Shen Yue woke up this time, she had been wondering who exactly she was.
Was she the Shen Yue in her memories who knew everything, or the Shen Yue who had just learned the meaning of family?
Was she the Shen Yue who didn't communicate at all with her brothers, or the one who had built a connection with them?
Was she the Shen Yue who had schemed her way here, or the one who had given her heart and received their hearts in return?
She felt very confused.
There were two sets of memories in her mind. Sometimes she couldn't even tell which one was real.
At the same time, these two sets of memories were fragmented.
She remembered everything that happened in prison, but it was like watching a movie. She knew what had happened and the cause and effect, but she didn't have a real feeling about it. To her, it was like it had happened to another person.
Shen Yue understood why the first time Si Chengyou sent his memories back to the past, nothing had changed.
Because memory transfer is not soul transfer. The first problem people face is the self.
Whether to stick to the present self, or be willing to accept the memories and become another "me."
At first, Shen Yue was willing. Perhaps it was because her energy was strong enough when she died. The moment she woke up, she even completely abandoned her self in this life and only integrated with the "me" in her memories.
But Shen Yichen pulled her out.
Big brother said that everything they had experienced together was not fake.
Yes, she knew her previous brothers had not treated her well... No, it shouldn't be said they treated her badly. After all, she was desperate enough already, so how could she save another equally desperate person?
So Shen Yue didn't actually blame them.
For a while, Si Chengyou often said that the culture of Xia Country emphasized Confucianism, Buddhism, and Taoism. Confucianism talks about pursuing happiness. Buddhism talks about planting causes and reaping effects. Taoism pursues the balance of yin and yang, and the natural way of the Tao, following rules and principles.
Everything can exist for a reason. Everything arises from conditions.
Her brothers in her memories were as distant from her as strangers, so her fourth and fifth brothers eventually died in prison while she didn't care at all and didn't lift a finger to help.
But to be fair, if it was her now and her brothers now, would she save them?
The answer was naturally yes.
The ending had already changed, so there was no need to be too obsessed with the previous ending. Just look to the future instead...
When Shen Hui reached the door of Shen Yue's room, what she saw was a bright light enveloped in darkness.
Everything around was dark. Only Shen Yue's room still had its lights on, with the door open, as if waiting for someone.
Shen Hui looked at Shen Yue standing by the window and suddenly spoke up, "Did you know I would come looking for you?"
After dinner with all the Shen brothers, big brother was keeping watch at the hospital while everyone else went back home. It was now past midnight and everyone else was asleep.
Shen Yue looked over at her. In the quiet of midnight, Shen Hui's voice sounded exceptionally clear.
Shen Yue said softly, "Close the door. Don't disturb the others."
Shen Hui hesitated for a moment before closing the door.
Shen Yue had already taken out a stool for Shen Hui and motioned for her to sit there.
Strangely, although Shen Yue's actions didn't seem abnormal, Shen Hui inexplicably wanted to do as she said. She felt very comfortable around Shen Yue.
Whether it was her expression, gestures or even smell, everything made Shen Hui feel comfortable.
Sitting on the stool, Shen Hui finally understood something. She looked at Shen Yue and said, "Is this how you controlled the five Shen brothers?"
Shen Yue shook her head. "Not control, just going along with human nature."
Shen Hui neither agreed nor denied. She leaned back and took control of the conversation. "My parents don't seem to like you very much... No, they don't treat any of their children very well. But even so, kicking you out as soon as I got back is pretty harsh. If I were you, I definitely wouldn't have the nerve to keep staying here."
"Then could you take me in?" Shen Yue didn't take Shen Hui's bait and turned the conversation back around.
Shen Hui was stunned by Shen Yue's question. Wasn't this person angry that she had provoked her like that?
"I just called you an unwanted pest."
Shen Yue nodded. "I heard it. It's not good to be so mean. As your big sister, I'll help you correct this bad habit in the future."
This was Shen Hui's first time meeting someone like Shen Yue. She felt Shen Yue was of the same kind as her, yet also not quite the same.
"You're very different now compared to when I first met you," Shen Hui sensed she was being led by Shen Yue, so she brought up another topic to disrupt Shen Yue's pace.
She kept a close eye on Shen Yue's expressions, trying to glean something from them, but she failed.
Shen Yue seemed totally unconcerned about her own parents and remained completely calm and undisturbed.
Shen Hui saw the gentle and soothing look in Shen Yue's eyes as she softly said, "As long as I look at you, I know without having to ask. You didn't have it good over there either."
Hearing the word "either", Shen Hui suddenly fell silent.
Shen Yue didn't say anything more either.
A thread seemed to wrap around the two of them. Though they hadn't really said anything, it was as if everything had already been said.
After some time, Shen Hui finally spoke. "Do you know you were abandoned by your biological parents?"
Shen Yue nodded. "I know. I secretly looked at big brother's files."
In fact, Shen Yue had seen the truth in her own memories about the authentic and fake heiress.
"From what I can see, I'm an abandoned existence rejected by both sides, while you're the chosen one accepted by both sides. But who can say for sure that the chosen one will definitely be happier?"
Listening to Shen Yue's words, Shen Hui inexplicably felt a trace of grievance well up inside her, but it was just for a moment before she regained clarity of mind.
Shen Yue's ability to unconsciously make people lower their guard was not to be underestimated.
She looked at Shen Yue and reevaluated her.
"Right now you're very different from when I first met you." Shen Hui's gaze suddenly turned dangerous. "The first time we met, I could guess what you were thinking, but now I can't see through you at all."
Shen Yue saw the danger in Shen Hui's eyes. She suddenly heard that line in her mind again: [I will kill you]. But oddly, she didn't feel afraid at this moment. Instead, she instinctively knew what to do.
Ignoring Shen Hui's words, Shen Yue got up from the bed and came over to her. She reached out and rubbed Shen Hui's head. "That's why I'm the big sister."