Canon Fodder

CHAPTER 349 A SPARE

I appeared in the middle of the Smut Room and next to me was my Doppelganger. “What the fuck!” We said as one as we stepped back from one another. He wore the same clothes as I did. No longer in our transformation jutsu we appeared to be twins as we studied the other. 

“So wait, every skill and ability I lost. Did you gain?” I asked. 

“I did,” My Doppel said. “Holy shit-Holy shit.” His hands went up to his head as he held his temples. A smile split his face as he laughed. “I have World Lasting Physique, Dead Man Walking, Gemini, Handicap, Status Screen, and World Escape too. Do you have any idea what this means?!” 

“I do,” I said, growing more excited. “We could make like Scoob and the gang and split up.”

“Exactly. We tried to open 2 doors with the shadow clones so long ago, but…” he walked to one of the doors and I walked to the opposite. As we tried to open them we received a notification. 

“Holy shit. That’s more than we got last time,” I said.

“Right?!” My Doppel said growing more excited. Nothing happened or budged when the shadow clone tried a door. And if I opened it and they stepped through then the door wouldn’t shut. It was just a black expanse. 

“I really think we can do it,” my Dopple said.

“I think it might work too,” I admitted. 

“It would,” a voice said. We turned to see L appear in the room. The bored man looked between us. Bags under his eyes he moved to the God World door. Studying the door as if he could see something we couldn’t. He grumbled as he moved this way and that, studying the plain slab of wood. Looking at the door from different angles as we watched him. 

“Fucking skills granted by gods. Always screwing up with the system,” L said. “I’m going to have to update this crap.”

“Excuse me, Moderator. What is going on?” I asked. 

He examined the door more, then turned to us. “I think you can surmise what happened. Do you really want to waste a question on that?”

“Kind of,” I said, my Doppel nodded. “I assume this has something to do with the Gemini skill and Connie’s Doppelganger Job.” 

L let out a long bored sigh. “That and other things,” he admitted. “The Gemini skill is quite rare. I really didn’t think you would pick it. What? You thought it would empower your shadow clones?” I nodded. “Yeah no. Gemini is a Death Skill.” I waited for him to go on. 

“Fine, be boring, don’t ask,” he grumbled. “Death skills are skills that activate upon death. They usually don’t come into play until the 3rd season. When people have a few different ways of resurrecting under their belt. But you have reached that stage early. Earlier than I thought you would. Gemini is a Tier 4 skill, that when you die, you will be split into twins if you are brought back to life. But you have a skill that skips that.” 

I looked at him confused. He sighed again. “Dead Man Walking. One of it’s many uses is to ignore death restricted skills. Basically you are already considered dead. So skills that only undead and vampires can use, become open to you. Gemini would have required your death to allow you to split. But Dead Man Walking and adding in the Doppelganger skill caused it to proc earlier than expected…” 

L paused for a moment. Squinting at me then moving to the other Weston. “It looks like splitting up also got rid of that nasty debuff of Mikhail’s as well.” 

“What debuff of Mikhail’s?” I asked, growing nervous. 

“Oh, didn’t you notice yourself a little off lately?” L asked, with a wide grin. “His Zanpakuto from Bleach is very special. If you are sliced with it you get a pretty nasty Guilt Debuff. Shinigami’s help dead souls to move to the other side. Well his version was special. The Zanpakuto in his world makes you extra susceptible to any guilt you feel. Bringing out your demons so you can try to atone for them. Zanpakuto aren’t meant to be used on live humans, I doubt even he knew it was there.” 

“Seriously!” I said, careful to not make it sound like a question. I wanted to ask him so bad what the hell that all meant, but I wasn’t sure it was worth asking. No wonder I had been feeling so depressed and off. I went through our fight. He had cut off my fingers with his energy blade Zanpakuto. “Fucking hell.” My Doppleganger was recovering as well, but it took us time to try to move past it. 

“So we can go to 2 Halls at once?” I eventually asked.

“Yes,” L said, still bored. “Or, I can offer you compensation.” He looked between us. “What do you say? 3 Challenger Slots, just give up the Gemini skill.” I looked to my Doppel. We shook our heads in unison. L sighed. “What about a Passive Skill Challenger Slot?”

“What?” I asked, my twin reacting the same way. 

“That’s right. Your precious World Lasting Physique could become your challenger slot. I can’t give it to you, but I can give you 3 free Challenger Slots and tell you the secret to getting a Passive Skill Challenger Slot.” 

I was tempted with that offer. “But…” I said.

“Too good to be true,” my twin finished. We nodded, in agreement that if we gave up this opportunity we would probably regret it. We had an idea on how to get the World Lasting Physique anyway. 

“Fine,” L said. “2 more questions, that’s all you’re allotted. Then I’m out of here to patch that stupid Doppelganger skill.” 

“Uh,” I said, unsure. I had forgotten he counted questions.

“How do we reabsorb into one another?” My Doppler asked. 

“I’ll…help you with that.” He waved his hands in our directions. I didn’t feel anything but he stopped and said, “There, just hold one another’s hands,” L said, bored. “But be warned, if you do, you can’t split again and your Gemini skill will disappear. It is a 1 time use skill.” I felt like maybe he tricked us by making it so all we had to do was touch, but was still too lost to care.

We nodded, understanding a little better. I struggled to come up with a good question. I blurted the first thing that came to mind. “And we will absorb the skills of the other when we do fuse back together?”

“Yes,” L said. “And because you have Memory Meld, you get all the memories too. Quite the boon you received this time, Weston. I really thought you had given up. Mikhail was becoming a fan favorite after your little breakdown. But maybe you really can turn it around.” He moved to snap but hesitated. “You really should have asked me what happens if one of you dies. Maybe you lose the skills.” With a snap he was gone.

My clone and I locked eyes. “He is fucking with us,” I said.

“Yeah, I remember what happened when Connie broke the salt shakers,” my clone said. But both of us were a little worried by the comment. What would happen if one of us died? We ignored it for now as we began to talk and plan. 

—

I summoned Hancock. She looked from me to me, confused. “What the hell?!” She yelled. We agreed and walked her through our interaction. 

“That’s…great?” Hancock asked, confused. 

“It is,” I said. “Easton-er sorry. That’s what we are referring to him as.” My clone waved. “Easton is going to leave the Manhwa hall.” 

“I thought we were leaving the Manhwa Hall,” Hancock said. 

“We were,” I said. “Back when I felt rushed. We only had 5 years to defeat as many worlds as possible. Now…we potentially have 10 years. He can go to a Hall, train, and we can do the same. We can meet back up when the 5 years are done. Become 1 person again and be ready for our next challenge.” 

Our true plan was to try to upgrade the Gemini skill so we could split and recombine when we wanted to. We had talked in codes to one another, not willing to say what we wanted aloud. Since the Moderator listened to everything, we didn’t doubt he would try to keep such a skill away from us. Especially since he offered so much to keep us from it. 

“That’s…confusing. Will I go with both of you?” She asked. 

“No, just me,” I said. “He doesn’t have you as a summon.”

“I have Nibi,” Easton said. “And half of his abilities.” 

“So you’re weaker now?” Hancock asked. 

“Yeah. We will have to figure it out,” I admitted. “But you should be able to reawaken Nen in me.”

“What about chakra?” She asked Easton.

“I don’t have chakra, or the Chikyugi. That would be impossible,” he admitted. “I don’t want to risk touching you. He and I could fuse back together again. And it’s not like we are up for some gay action.” 

“But we could have sex,” Hancock said, perking up. “With both of you. I could have sex with you both.” She took on a more than excited gaze as she looked between the 2 of us. “I mean…for chakra.”

“Yeah…don’t think either of us wants that,” I said.

“I love you babe, but sorry,” Easton said. 

“You’re so boring,” Hancock mumbled, her shoulders dropping. “I didn’t mind my Doppel playing with me. It’s just masturbation.”  

“You are a special breed,” I admitted. 

“”But…what about Connie?” She asked. We gave her a confused look. “Her Doppelganger was different from her. Mine too. She was far less reserved and I thought she took some of my confidence. Are you 2 different?”

“I don’t know,” we said. “We will have to find out. Apparently we were affected by a debuff by Mikhail as well. We both might start acting differently.” 

Hancock frowned. Uncaring about what I said. “Are you sure we can’t have sex?”

“I’m sure,” I said. “Maybe we can work it out someday, babe.” She cursed, chewing her nail. I couldn’t help but shake my head, loving her more. 

“Fine, what now?” She asked.

Easton pulled a piece of paper out of his Inventory. “I am going to write on a piece of paper which doors I have been to. You 2 need to stay away from them.”

“Shouldn’t my other selves be in all of them?” Hancock asked. 

“Yes, I will try to make contact with them,” Easton admitted. “So when we are 1 again, you and I should already know one another.” 

“Perfect. You have my permission to have sex with me,” Hancock said, as if making a decree. 

Easton and I barked a laugh. Shaking our heads we locked eyes. Studying one another for a while. “Don’t think there is anything else,” I said. “Where will you go?”

“Comics probably. If I go to Books I will leave the paper in the Junction room,” Easton said. 

“Smart,” I said with a nod. I was about to shake his hand, but thought better of it. I waved. He waved as well. Kissing Hancock on the cheek he walked out of the room. 

“Are you sure walking into a new Hall will work?” She asked. 

“No, but we think so. L was pissed we got this skill, so it has to be good,” I said. “I told Easton we would spend 1 day in a world. If he is outside the door when we get out, we will just fuse back together.” 

“Which door?” She asked. 

I pointed to the last door in the Smut room. “You said you wanted to know if we get a reward for opening all the doors,” I said.

“I do,” Hancock admitted. “But I kind of want to go back to God World. That was fun.” 

“I agree. But we pissed off the elves I’m sure.” 

“You have no idea,” she said. “That asshat’s death was on the news.”

“Of course it was,” I still held some of my lingering hate for elves. “Let’s get stronger and come back to that world. Oh wait, our quest,” I said. Pulling up the item I received for saving Jeneah, the Bonus Choice. 

I chose Love Bask without hesitation. It increased healing when I was near someone that loved me. I was sure the only reason I had healed so quickly from being struck by Divine Retribution was because I was near Connie and Hancock as I healed. 

“I got an Animal Lover choice. What is it?” Hancock asked. 

“Says that animals are more likely to want to have sex with you,” I said. 

“Oh…I will save this then. None sound interesting,” she said. 

“Didn’t get anything good from your level ups?” I asked. 

“I did, but they are lackluster and tied to the other Minerva Job skills. I will save for something interesting,” she said. She looked to the last door in the Smut room. “Come husband. I hope this one has more sex than the last worlds. I have been rather disappointed with the turn out.”

“I’ve kind of enjoyed it,” I said. “But you’re right. Let's finish up our vacation and get back to it.” We grabbed the other’s hand and walked through.