Bog Standard Isekai

Book 1. Chapter 24

“Oh, come on. Where are we going?” asked Brin, being tugged along by his wrist.

“To the gate,” said the Prefit.

Somewhere his new merchant friends couldn’t see him abusing a child, huh? What a jerk. “Why?”

“You are to be pilloried,” said Prefit Elmon.

Pilloried. Just like that, like it was a normal thing. Crime and punishment in Hammon’s Bog was distinctly different from his old world. It wasn’t something he’d really thought a lot about, until the day the Prefit came back with the merchant caravan. Brin hadn’t seen much of the Prefit, and there was a reason for that. For the year Brin had been here, the caravans had been only coming half as often as they should have, and the Prefit had been on a one-man mission to find out why.

For Brin, those months had been full of training. He’d worked out with Davi and sometimes Zilly, and then hung out with the two of them most afternoons. He and Myra hadn’t become best friends, but they’d at least learned to put their bickering on hold in order to stop making their other two friends uncomfortable.

If things with Tawna didn’t get any better, well, at least he could say he’d gotten used to it. A person could acclimate to anything, and they’d approached something like an equilibrium where mostly they just stayed out of each other's way.

He learned that Prefit Elmon’s year, on the other hand, had been full of frustration. He hadn’t been able to learn why caravans were becoming less frequent, and he’d had a terrible time enticing more of them to visit. One caravan had disappeared completely, while another two had simply changed their course without telling anyone. For this one, he’d actually had to travel to Oud’s Bog himself and offer to guard the caravan for free to convince them to visit the town. They’d taken him up on it, of course. A level forty [Warrior] had little to fear in this world. But if he had to guard every caravan that visited, he wouldn’t have any time to do anything else.

When he arrived in triumph, the whole town had turned out to meet the caravan in the town square, and there was something of a festival atmosphere. Brin couldn’t help but be caught up in it. Sure, there were plenty of people in Hammon’s Bog whose names he didn’t know, but there was something strange and exotic about meeting real strangers. He’d never have understood it in his old world, but here, when you were surrounded by the same people every day, there wasn’t anything more enticing than novelty.

The merchants set up their wagons in a ring, looking like a cross between a pioneer reenactment and a mini-mall. He’d immediately set out looking for fabrics, but who would bring fabrics to a town with a high-level [Weaver]? They had many very beautiful spools of thread, which he could do exactly nothing with. This town didn’t even have a loom, although Myra had bragged that her mom was getting one commissioned in preparation for her System Day.

Still, there were other things he could buy, and the great thing about merchants from out of town is that they would take his gold without needing permission from his adoptive father. He had barely started looking at the enchanted items when Prefit Elmon had charged him, furious, and pulled him away.

The Prefit had taken him to his home first, and tossed him in the holding cell in the front room before going to converse with some people in the other room. Brin didn’t know who was in that room, but he’d bet his left eye that [Weaver] Tawna was there, from the way the Prefit had come out even angrier than before.

He was a big man, every inch a [Warrior], even in his fine clothes and immaculate hair. He sort of looked like Gaston from Beauty and the Beast, except a bit older and better dressed. This was sort of conflicting for Brin, who actually liked the character from the old cartoon. Prefit Elmon, on the other hand, wasn’t his favorite person at the moment.

“Pilloried?” asked Brin. “For what?”

“For spreading illegal rumors,” said Prefit Elmon.

“You can’t be serious,” said Brin. “What about the people spreading rumors about me? If you’re going to pillory people for spreading rumors you’ll have to do it to half the town. Are you going to do them one by one, or make one huge pillory the size of the town walls?”

The Prefit didn’t even look at him, just clenched his jaw against a sneer of disgust. “You are the one at the heart of the rumors against [Weaver] Tawna. Rumors that may well turn to violence if I let them go unchecked.”

“According to who? Seems like you’ve talked to everyone but me,” said Brin.

“Do you deny the charge?” asked the Prefit.

“Would you listen if I did?” He tried to summon some anger for his words, but honestly he was just so sick of this. Why did he even try? The day had started off so well and now all he could think about was going to bed and sleeping for a week. Or a year.

Prefit Elmon dragged Brin by the wrist all the way to the gate on the town’s west end. A carpenter had already put the pillory right in the middle of the street. They really had moved them away from the usual spot near the town square, so that the merchants wouldn’t see this.

A small crowd had gathered nearby. The Prefit didn’t pause for speeches, just yanked Brin by the arm towards the pillory.

He braced himself for it. As far as he knew, it wouldn’t be any worse than the pillory on earth, where they used to lock people’s hands and neck at an awkward angle and make them stand there for a while. It wouldn’t actually hurt, not with his stats, not unless he was left there for an entire day or more. It was more the humiliation aspect that made people want to avoid this.

He could be thankful this wasn’t a whipping, but then again, he’d only ever seen one whipping, and that was for a man assaulting a woman. Stocks were much more common, where they only locked in the feet, and most things got settled with a fine, with no need for physical punishment at all.

Brin saw an invisible something approaching at great speed from past the city gate. Some small part of him thrilled in the possibility that it was an invisible monster come to start tearing all of the rubberneckers apart. Elmon would watch in horror as he realized he’d been so preoccupied with a non-problem like Brin that he’d missed the true threat.

But of course it was just Hogg.

The [Illusionist] appeared in a ball of black smoke, and Brin could really smell the smoke. That was Hogg for you, always careful to think of the small things. He had used his illusion magic for the invisibility, but not for the smoke bomb. After all, a [Rogue] would use real smoke.

Brin would be impressed except for the fact that the old jerk was probably going to give a half-hearted attempt to argue for Brin and then immediately back down. Or maybe he wouldn’t even try, and he was here to take Prefit Elmon’s side and deliver Brin a stinging lecture while he was locked in the wooden frame.

The onlookers must’ve expected something different. The entire crowd flinched when they saw him appear, and many of them immediately decided that they had somewhere better to be, like they’d gotten caught doing something naughty. He saw [Weaver] Tawna in the crowd. She stayed.

“So what’s all this?”

“Stand aside, Hogg.”

“So it’s what it looks like then?”

Elmon gritted his teeth, but stopped, staring Hogg down.

“I’m this boy’s legal father. You should’ve talked to me first.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll be hearing from me next. This is mostly on your shoulders, for letting it get this far,” said Elmon.

Hogg sighed. “That’s more true than you know. You know, this town has been my home my entire life, except for my adventuring years. I remember the day you were born and I remember the day you became Prefit. In all that time, I’ve never seen you put a child in the pillory. Not even when the Giovi twins killed all those chickens. You talked to their parents and the parents paid for the damage."

“There’s never been a time before where a single child’s action endangered the entire town,” the Prefit responded.

“There still hasn’t,” said Hogg.

The Prefit put his hand on the pommel of his sword. “Stand aside.”

Hogg’s eyes went wide in shock. Then they narrowed, and he stopped being real.

Prefit Elmon let go of Brin’s arm as Hogg reappeared right in front of them, delivering a sucker punch to the Prefit’s middle.

The [Warrior] staggered backwards, trying to draw his sword. Hogg slammed it back into its sheath, pushed a punch away with contemptuous ease, and then slammed his fist into Elmon’s jaw.

That Elmon stayed standing was impressive; Brin had literally seen that fist shatter skulls.

Hogg’s movements were strange, because he looked like he was dominating the Prefit completely, but [Know What’s Real] was blaring alarm bells. Hogg was hiding his true movements, probably making it look easier than it was. Whatever Hogg was doing, the effect on the Prefit was real.

Hogg turned and delivered a roundhouse kick to Elmon’s shoulder. The Prefit got his hands up to block, but the kick blew straight through his defense and knocked him off his feet, across the street, and through the wall of the nearest house.

He exploded out of the mess, flinging rubble in every direction. Hogg caught him by the shirt and neatly threw him to the ground. Elmon moved to stand again, but stopped when he noticed his own sword at his throat.

“Is this what we’re doing now? Strongest is in charge? Because if that’s what we’re doing, I’m happy to oblige. This isn’t new ground for a [Rogue]. This is where I’m comfortable.” Hogg stood and threw Elmon’s sword into the dirt in disgust. “You’re the Prefit here, and up until now I’ve been satisfied with that, because until now you’ve governed with laws. Not with bullying and temper tantrums. But that’s over, I guess. Strongest is in charge. So here’s your first new law: if you ever put your hand on your sword when you talk to me again, you’ll lose it and that’s a promise.”

Elmon stood, dusted himself off, and met Hogg’s eyes, somehow reclaiming some of his lost dignity. Brin would’ve wilted under either of these men’s stares, and the air between them practically sparked with lightning.

“You and Brin are banned from town for three days,” said Elmon.

“Fine. That’s fine,” Hogg said, a bit of mockery in his voice. “But I want you to–”

“Don’t you dare–” Elmon started.

“Ah, ah, ah,” said Hogg, making a cutting motion. Elmon’s lips kept moving, but no sound came out. “I’m talking. I want you to keep an eye on that [Weaver] for me. I don’t like the kinds of things she’s been saying about my…” he glanced at Brin. “Son. I want you to be at her door before she leaves in the morning and drop her off again at night. You’re going to hear the tinkle when she uses the privy. You’re really going to do it, too. You hear me? I won’t be around for a few days, but don’t forget: This is Hogg Town now. Alright, you can talk, but don’t say anything stupid.”

Elmon was clearly taking great pains to contain himself. Apparently, he could contain his temper as long as the person talking to him could beat him black and blue with little effort. Still, he looked like he was going to disagree, until Tawna stepped to his side, putting a hand on his shoulder with pleading in her eyes.

“I will consider your suggestion, sir,” said Elmon.

“Consider it an order. Come along, Brin.” Hogg turned on his heel and left the town by the gates. “And send me the bill for that house!”

Brin hurried after Hogg.

He tried not to feel too much satisfaction at this. Prefit Elmon was probably a good– well, an ok person. He probably treated people well most of the time, and he’d only acted like that with Brin because [Weaver] Tawna had filled his ears up with poison. He knew all that, but it wasn’t a bad feeling to see someone who was mean to him get some sense knocked into him. It wasn’t a bad feeling at all.

He noticed his hands were shaking. Right, even though he was weaker than Hogg, Elmon was still strong. He’d gone through that wall and came out without a single bruise. He could kill Brin with a flick of one finger, and Brin’s instincts knew that even if his brain tried to forget it.

He jogged to catch up with Hogg walking down the road and matched his pace, walking next to him, even though he was walking pretty dang fast.

He needed to take a second to process. How did he feel about what had just happened? Everything. Gratitude that Hogg had stepped in to help him. Anger that it had taken this long. Sadness that it had been necessary. Fear, an aftershock of seeing such high level people fighting, even if this had been a fairly restrained dust-up. Vindication, at seeing Elmon get beat down, although he wished it had been Tawna instead.

Not sure where to start, Brin opened the conversation on more neutral ground. “How did you do that? [Know What’s Real] told me what I was seeing wasn’t really what happened, but I couldn’t see what did happen.”

A big black mallet appeared on Hogg’s back, then turned invisible again. It was black iron, but the ends were covered in leather. That would probably feel like getting hit with a fist, more or less. “If you want people to think you punch like a hammerstrike, then hit them with a hammer,” said Hogg.

“Nice,” said Brin. There was a silence for a moment.

“So wh–”

“Listen, I–”

They both stopped.

“You go first,” said Brin.

“Listen, Lumina shared that letter you wrote to her with me,” said Hogg.

“Yeah, ok.” Brin scratched the back of his head. “Maybe it was a little corny, but I don’t know how to write things like–”

“That’s not it. Lumina, she has a way of reading in between the lines. She read a lot in that letter, more than you thought you were letting on,” said Hogg.

“Really? Love her to death, but she didn’t seem like a super perceptive-type person, at least not when it comes to social stuff.”

“She’d surprise you,” said Hogg. “She could tell from the letter that you’re not having a great time of it.”

Brin clasped Hogg’s shoulder as they walked. “Hogg. I’m fine. Honestly.”

“Nah, you’re not fine, and a lot of that is on my shoulders.”

He started to object, again, to say he was fine, but was he fine? To be honest, he was still a little pissed off at Hogg. One act of public violence didn’t undo a year of negligence. But it did help.

“Come on, ki– man. I’m no good at this. You got to meet me halfway. Say something,” said Hogg.

“You could’ve just– Arg! No,” said Brin. He took a breath. “This kid body is inconvenient. My emotions are always all over the place. Ok, so you know in the before, I had a girlfriend for a while. Long story short, she left me, but to get over it a guy’s got to think of all the reasons he’s actually better off without her. One thing she did that drove me crazy, was that she always punished me when I did something right. ‘I took the trash out.’ You should’ve done that two days ago! ‘I took the day off work.’ For the first time this month. I’m not going to do that. You helped me out today. Thank you. Let’s leave it there.”

Hogg’s spat in disgust. “Cut the bull. I’m not a baby, and I’m not your girlfriend. You don’t need to protect my feelings.”

“Let’s just drop it,” said Brin. “Hey, is that Zilly?”

Zilly was coming down the forest road from the direction of their house. She must’ve been the one to inform Hogg. He’d have to thank her for it later.

“Hey Zilly!”

“Walk with us,” Hogg said to the girl.

She looked between the two of them. “Are you sure? What happened at town? I thought the Prefit was going to pillory you for sure.”

“He was, but Hogg beat him up. It was awesome,” Brin said.

“Stop changing the subject! Brin here was just going to tell me all the ways that I’m a bad dad. Only, I can’t get him to say anything.”

Zilly nodded. “That’s typical. It’s hard to get Brin to say anything about anything. It’s like pulling teeth. I can’t even get him to answer if he has a crush on Myra or not.”

“I don’t,” said Brin.

“See what I mean?” said Zilly.

Hogg eyed her contemplatively. “But you don’t have that problem.”

“Nope!”

“Then you do it. I’ll give you ten silver for every good reason you can think of,” said Hogg.

“Don’t you dare!” said Brin.

“Don’t be silly Brin, of course I’m going to do it. We’re not all rich like you,” said Zilly.

She scooted in between him and Hogg, pushing him to the side. As she did, she also handed off Marksi, who slithered up and down Brin’s body, looking worried and checking for injuries.

“I’m fine, Marksi!” he said, and rubbed the snake’s head. He couldn’t figure out how exactly Marksi had ended up with Zilly. He hadn’t even noticed the snake was gone. The only thing he could think of was that Marksi had gone for help, found Zilly, and then Zilly had taken him to go get Hogg. That was a lot of complex reasoning for a little snake. He had been treating Marksi like a pet, but it was possible that Marksi was smart. Like, human smart. It was something he needed to look into.

Later. Right now, Zilly was ruining his life.